So You Think You Can Nance

Oooooooh, Domino!

2012-02-08T11:48:00.000-05:00

Hopefully you just sang the title silently in your head as Van Morrison's hit, but if you didn't that's cool too.

But not as cool.

REJOICE! Condé Nast came out with the news yesterday that they will be issuing a newsstand-only format of (thebestfreakinginteriordesignmagazineever) domino.

Can I get an AMEN?

AMEN!

$11 is a little more than I like to pay for something that can be used for kindling a fire, however that surely will never happen so I think I can swing it.

Don't know what glorious publication I'm talking about? Check out the full press release here and rejoice with me!

Huzzah!

Hashtag Totes Amaze

2012-01-29T14:02:00.000-05:00

By now you've certainly seen all the videos like, Shit Black Girls Say, Shit White Girls Say to Black Girls, Shit Girls Say to Gay Guys.....I could go on and on and on. They're all pretty hilarious and I really don't think I can pick a favorite.

Here's a new one I found this week that is equally hilarious. And I still can't pick a favorite, although the Shit Girls Say to Gay Guys is pretty much my life.

Anywho, enjoy.

And here's the sequel...because there are just too many catch-phrases to fit into one clip.

Batch

2012-01-18T21:39:00.002-05:00

One of my long-time best friends is getting married in a few weeks and I'm still recovering from her bachelorette mountain weekend...and it's Wednesday.

Not much photographic evidence will be gracing the interwebs, but I think these two guys sum it up.

Below used to spell out F-A-M-I-L-Y on the mantle of our mountain mansion for the weekend. It offended me immediately, so we re-worked it to be more fitting for our theme.

Here are the girls minus four who left before we could pull ourselves together for a group photo.

And that's all you will see.

CHEERS, G! We love you and can't wait to celebrate again in a few Saturdays!

2011: The iPhone Chronicles

2011-12-31T17:57:00.000-05:00

2011 has been an interesting year, needless to say. Ups and downs. This photographic chronology from my iPhone is a sampling of the last 365 days. The good. The bad. The ugly. But mostly good.

In one word.

Brunette

Atlantis

Poo

Best

Celine

Favorite

Pretend

Beauts

Peace

Crawfish

Smarty

Troy

Salute

God

Harbor

Loves

City

Perhaps

Love

Fancy

Ouch

Happy

Carefree

Bond

Camille

Breaking

Sexy

Cheers...

...to a wonderful 2012 filled with more ups than downs, love and peace.

King of Night Vision, King of Insight...

2011-11-18T22:26:00.000-05:00

There are some songs that make me feel so nostalgic I can’t stand it. Today at work I was plugging along, running some tracking URLs for a major makeup brand….yeah, I’m super cool (read nerdy) like that, and time stopped.

Let me back up. We listen to Sirius radio at my office and there is no telling what sort of crazy tune will come on at any moment. A few weeks ago we took a moment of silence for “Just the Tip," a song I’d never heard before, which was quite catchy, albeit repulsive. So, needless to say, you never know what will infiltrate your ears.

Back to my story. So, there are few songs on the planet that make me stop and I cannot go on. I have to sit and listen to the entire song and just….be. Or, as a good friend of mine says, marinate.

Galileo by Indigo Girls is one of those. I heard that unmistakable, beginning rhythmic drum solo. And I could not go on. I was forced to marinate. At least for the next three to four minutes.

Because it was suddenly 1998. I was riding with friends in Clifford* with the windows down, the sunroof open and not a care in the world other than whether or not I could finagle a way to stay out past curfew that night and if a boy I didn’t find revolting would ever like me.

No kidding, I could smell Clifford while the song was playing. At my desk. Roughly 13 years later.

Could I tell you what I had for lunch yesterday? No.

Could I tell you if I asked client X about issues Y and Z? No.

But with one fabulous folk-infused rock song I was transported back more than a decade.

The human brain is weird………

……..and I love it.

*One of my best friend's cars. Even though I had the largest car of most of my friends, a low-rider station wagon, I seldom drove around large groups. Shocker.

Parking Garage Peep Show

2011-11-09T21:31:00.000-05:00

Let me start by saying that I HATE migraines. HATE THEM. For any of you who get them, or have someone close to you who does, you know that they suck BIGtime. For those of you who don't, or who think....oh, it's just a really bad headache, right? Let me enlighten you.

I won't regale you with the story of my first migraine when I was 16 years old and thought I was going blind in the middle of Spanish class because I couldn't see out of my left eye, then my right, because some sort of squiggly, clear, moving alien-like thing had taken over my vision. Or how my nausea was so great, I decided to "skip" school to go home because I didn't know what in God's name was happening to me..and then the next morning got yelled at for being truent and how this sort of behavior wasn't going to get me very far in life and how I was grounded, to which I yelled,

"NO! I am NOT grounded! I couldn't see and then I threw up violently when I got home and I don't know what's wrong with me! I might be DYING!!!"

(This was a conversation with my dad, who obviously has never experienced a migraine, but has since come to realize that I get them and they are terrible, and he did not turn me in for truency, just so you know. And yes, I was a drama queen.)

Anyway...that was my worst to date. Until today.

Today I got the aura (the squiggly, alien thing) and immediately popped some pills at my desk thinking....grrrreat. Here we go. It was right around lunchtime, so I decided to go lie down in my car and close my eyes since going home would take too much time and I thought I could power through because sometimes I can.

So I got in the car, noticed the girl sitting in her car beside me talking on her cell phone and telling what looked to be a most hilarious story. I donned my shades, set my cell phone alarm, reclined my seat completely and covered my head with my sweater. It was actually rather peaceful because I was on the sixth floor of the parking garage and it was relatively quiet until a car would come by and rhythmically bounced my car and me. It was also rather peaceful until the girl telling the hilarious story drove away and a large, red truck took her place. I heard the truck pull up, glanced from under my makeshift shroud and hoped they would just get out of the car and leave without noticing me because I didn't need anyone tapping on my window thinking I was dead...or passed out drunk or something. I could hear the truck's driver door open and close and I thought, yes.....go away. Then I heard another door open, this time closer to me. I peered out again and this white-haired, old man had his passenger door open and was standing between it and his car digging around for something.

From my vantage point, reclined with my head on the back seat of my car, I was eye-level with his butt. After a couple more moments, I sensed he still hadn't left, so I looked out one last time and much to my dismay, I could see that he was changing shirts and had his pants undone and was digging around in them.

Oh, God! (I'm pretty sure I said that out loud.)

I then went back under my safety blanket and hoped he wasn't removing his pants inches away from my head. For what felt like an eternity I waited and then I finally heard him close his door and walk away. So, I will never know exactly what happened between our cars this afternoon, but ignorance is bliss and I don't think he ever saw me.

After the parking garage peep show, I ended up leaving work early after 1.5 hours at my desk wanting to die. On the way home, after a few stops behind a school bus, I also ended up pulling over, rapidly flinging open my car door and projectile vomiting twice in the middle of the road in my neighborhood.

Whoopsie.

I hope someone's dog enjoys Progresso Black Bean and Jalapeño soup....because I certainly won't be eating it ever again.

Long Live the King

2011-10-31T18:43:00.005-04:00

So, today is Halloween and while I don't get as excited for this holiday now (as I did for say, the previous 20 or so years) because:

A. I'm not a five-year-old
B. I don't have a five-year-old

nor am I

C. Planning a sexy nurse/policeman/fireman/marathon-runner, etc. costume for my sorority mixer.

I did, however,

D. Have to dress up for work because they take parties seriously around there and there is usually some sort of decent prize involved, like cash or a Starb's giftcard.

So I pulled it out at the last minute last night by raiding my closet at my parents' house and stumbled across a very serious, very heinous pants wardrobe that I used to don with pride from around 1997 until 2000. I didn't wear any today, but wanted to share for amusement purposes.

Left to Right: Express black velour swirls, Express garnet and gold metallic snake print, Express gray croc print, (three guesses as to what my favorite store was) Boutique in Madrid BRIGHT purple...these were the second largest size the store sold, btw and that was when I was a 4 on a fat day. Those Spanish putas don't mess around...

I went into my old closet with a flashlight and a prayer, because it is No Man's Land and who knows what has been living back there since I moved out in 2001. I dug right into the mound of nostalgia, tossing aside cheerleading tennis shoes and platform mary janes with stitched flowers on the toes searching for these terrible, clunky black loafers I used to think were the height of footwear fashion because I needed them to complete my look today.

Said look is none other than a white-girl homage to the King of Pop because it only required a trip to Wal-Green's to purchase white cotton gloves (obvi I only needed one, here) and because I wanted an excuse to wear my studded Phillip Lim blazer and Geren Ford leather pants to work.

sidenote: I'm not sure how many of you operate under the "Cost per Wear" formula when you purchase apparel, but I take it very seriously. For example: You spot something ridiculous/expensive/so trendy you want it immediately, but know you won't wear it more than one season, yet have to have it. So, to rationalize your purchase you just divide the total cost by how many times you will realistically wear the article of clothing/shoe/glittering tiara....whatever...and if that seems reasonable, voila--the "Cost per Wear" method. I live by this method and exercise it on a regular basis. Why else would I own a leather pencil skirt, leather shorts and an all-leather dress...in addition to the pants I'm wearing today?

I'm just increasing my divisor, people.

I digress....

So, really my outfit today isn't super embarrassing if I remove my hat and glove because from the ankles up, it's legitimately articles I've worn out, but from the ankles down I have on white athletic socks with the aforementioned chunky black loafers from 9th grade. And due to poor planning, I did not bring my lunch to work, which forced me to run downstairs (in a very large, very public office building) to grab something. Normally I see no one during this 10-minute jaunt, but OF COURSE today I see not one, not two, but three individuals I have not seen in at least a year. Each time I hoped that it wasn't actually that person and did not make eye contact, but each time, to my dismay, I heard "KATIE!!!!" And immediately cursed myself for not packing my lunch.

The worst part about this scenario is that because my outfit is somewhat normal and not blatantly "Halloween", each time I saw a person I began with,

"Oh, hey! So good to see you! I'm Michael Jackson!" And each time, they looked extremely confused until I pointed to my feet and would usually then respond with......"Ohhhhh....for Halloween...."

Yep.

I'm just generally embarrassing and/or ridiculous all the time--even when I have a holiday to use as an excuse.

Like last year when I answered the door for Trick-or-Treaters all night and one time opened it to a gaggle of little children, one of whom proclaimed,

"She look just like Britney Spears!" And the other gaggle members shrieked in unison, "She do!"

Please note that I intentionally have chosen to make my verbs and nouns disagree.

I'm hoping they were referring to the "I'm-a-Slave-for-You-Britney" and not the "Whack-job-shave-my-head-and-beat-paparazzi-with-an-umbrella-Britney."

Because folks, I was not dressed up. Not in the slightest.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! ....and long live the King of Pop...in our hearts.

Pretend this is a fabulously shot photo without laundry on the floor behind me...I didn't want to push it with the photographer as he has minimal tolerance for humoring me in scenarios such as this. :-D

Philadelphia Freedom: From the Northeast to Nawtheast

2011-09-14T19:10:00.002-04:00

via here

For some reason, Elton John has been MAH-jorly inspiring my blog titles lately. Not really, this is actually only my second Elton John reference, but there will probably be more at some point. Why?

Because Elton John is the poo.

I had never been to Philly, but that changed last weekend and after I got over my slight nervous breakdown over traveling during the 10th anniversary of 9/11, I was cool. One of my all-time favorite boos of Table For Two (and then some) hosted another boo and me at her metropolitan pad and it was a blast. I don't think we irritated her husband too badly, or else he's a very good actor.

We began the weekend by making a trip to the liquor store, because that's how every good weekend starts, isn't it? Then we got ready for a reisling wine tasting at a local restaurant. The wine tasting was awesome--I'm generally not a reisling fan so it was good to learn more and broaden my palate. My particular favorite, which (I'm an idiot because I didn't bring my cheat sheet back to South Carolina) was not sweet at all and had a distinct taste of petrol.

Yes, petrol.

Like gasoline...and it was delicious as nasty as that sounds. AND....it paired AMAZINGLY with one of my favorite foods, blue cheese. It actually made the wine even better, which I guess a stellar pairing does make.

Anywho...I digress. Something else that was blue that night (and still) was (is) my left elbow...because not once, but twice I thought the banquette on which I was seated continued past the table and I scooted myself right off of it. I didn't hit the floor or spill my wine, but did catch myself on my elbow and got a nasty bruise there to show for it. Fortunately no one really saw except the girls I was with, one of whom I'd just met (I'm sure she thinks I'm way classy) and the food server standing near our table who was most definitely silently laughing at me, but due to his obvious, immense talent, maintained a straight face and nodded at me when I hoisted myself back up. This was after my first approximate two ounces of wine, by the way.

Apparently I'm more coordinated after drinking more because after that disaster I didn't quasi fall again.

After the tasting and a brief cocktail hour back at the condo, where we were joined by more friends, we went to a Portugese, family-style restaurant called Koo Zee Doo. It was the jam and I ate too much. Shocker. I legitimately thought we were finished with dinner after the first course. No joke.

But somehow I managed to struggle through. Another awesome thing about Koo Zee Doo was that it's BYOB. Now, in South Carolina that might be the sign of a redneck establishment, but not in Philly. It was fabulous. No corkage fee. No worries. Just bring your beverage of choice...or beverage(s) for our group...and go to town.

After dinner we rolled ourselves to a bar called the 700. I'm not sure if this is supposed to poke fun at the 700 Club...I'm thinking yes...and I like it. Downstairs it was pretty unassuming--a neighborhood bar feel. And then, you walked upstairs to what literally looked like every grandmother's house I've ever been in and there was a DJ and dozens, if not a couple hundred people shakin' their groove thangs...including these sweaty chicas.

The bar was in the kitchen, complete with 60s linoleum, heinous wallpaper and authentic childhood photos of people who are probably in the baby boomer category now. It was hilarious.

The next day consisted of walking roughly five miles, seeing some Philly sites--some historic and some not. We then got ready for a more low-key night at Tinto, that was hands down the best tapas I've ever had. We ordered a TON, but magically it was the perfect amount of food. We didn't want a repeat of the night before.

Then, not quite ready to go home, but not ready to blow it out like the night before, we ventured to the Continental Mid-town for their rooftop bar and menu of myriad champagne cocktails. It was like my dream come true. After one drink we went back home to watch Labyrinth.

Like, 80s David Bowie Labyrinth. Because it had come up at dinner and that needed to happen before the weekend was complete. And honestly, other than seeing my long-lost friends, was the highlight of my trip there.

The sarcastic commentary that ensued during our viewing was something legends are made of. A Halloween costume or two may even come out of it.

So, all in all, Philly was everything I thought it would be.

I came. I saw. I ate.

Now, I'm back...

...and on a diet.

...and excited I get to see my peeps again at our high school reunion that's right around the corner. Fortunately, everyone I'm most excited about seeing I get to see a few times a year...because even though Candies wooden shoes, chunky silver monogrammed jewelry and frizzy hair went out of style a while ago, our good friends from back in the day didn't. And I'm glad about that.

NAWTHEAST, WE 'BOUT IT, 'BOUT IT! (I had to do it.)

Three Firsts

2011-09-01T00:00:00.000-04:00

Last weekend Juanito y yo were in San Diego and it was a weekend of firsts for me. Because we were there para negocios (that's biznass for you non-Spanish speaking folks) I was left to my own devices for most of the day Friday and Saturday morning. That left me wandering the city solo for about eight hours and due to my inability to adjust to time changes--i.e. jet lag--I was up and wide awake at 7 a.m., showered, with make-up on, dry (and straightened) hair and fully dressed before 8 a.m. This will probably never, ever happen again when I'm on quasi or full-on vacation again, so I felt the need to note it here.

Anywho, I ventured down to the hotel restaurant for breakfast by myself.

First #1: Dining solo in public.

I sat by myself in the lounge and waited on my server...feeling very adult-like all the while. I contemplated ordering a mimosa to counteract my jet lag slash copious amounts of wine I'd hoovered during the cocktail party the night before, but decided against it seeing as how it wasn't 9 a.m. yet.

Just a note about my hoovering wine the previous night--girls, it's hard being "the little woman" at business functions and not getting drunk. There is only so much small talk I can make before I shovel down food and alcohol out of sheer necessity to fill the awkwardness after I've managed to have a meaningless conversation with everyone at the party. And I just can't bear to be attached at the hip to Juanito. That's not how I roll. And frankly, that would probably irritate him because I'm rather garrulous...especially when I've been imbibing. So anyway, that's why I was considering a mimosa before 9 a.m.

But I didn't....so Mom, feel proud.

After ordering my extraordinarily expensive shrimp frittata with a diet coke, I relaxed by people watching and obsessively playing on my phone. (Isn't that what all diners-alone do?)

When my feast arrived, I immediately went to work on the side scoop of perfectly shredded shoelace hash browns. I have a weird disorder that forces me to eat items in full before I continue to the next, thereby resulting in finishing the hash browns within about one minute.

I was hawngry.

Around that time my server came over to refresh my diet coke and said, "I see you took care of those hash browns immediately." (chuckle chuckle)

I was pretty embarrassed. Here I am having my inaugural solo dining experience and I have some smart-ass server simultaneously mocking and judging me.

I somehow managed to shrug it off and start in on my frittata....punk.

Upon finishing my breakfast in about 10 minutes flat, I decided to start wandering down the street. I tried googling some things to do in the Gaslamp district where we were, but only came up with bars, a naval museum and the pier. I did two out of three over the course of the next five hours.

Since it was barely 10 a.m., I walked about 10 blocks down to the pier and that was nice. San Diego is beautiful, and even though I'm fairly certain that area is super touristy and relatively gross, it was still pretty nice. Apparently I'm not the only one who thought so because there were hundreds of tiny Asian tourists and lots of homeless people down there, as well. One Asian man and I managed to have an entire conversation about his camera, family and how lovely our surroundings were, without ever speaking the same language at any point during our interaction. That was interesting. I also thought it was interesting that his finger nails were curling over his fingers. I tried to ignore that as he showed me the button on his camera to press to take his photo.

USS Midway Aircraft Carrier + some tiny Asians

WWII 'Victory Kiss'

Long story short, after walking for about four hours, I wandered until I found a cool looking bar that was inside/outside and planted myself there for a couple Shock Tops.

This was First #2: Drinking at a bar solo.

I made friends with Kelly the bartender and texted Juanito to let him know that I was not only enjoying a beer while he was in a meeting discussing insurance, but that my bartender was also pretty hot.

He replied with "Did you get her number?" Hilarious, hubs. HILARIOUS.

After a little over an hour of talking to Kelly and pretending to watch some replay of an NFL game, I decided it was time to leave. I'm not really cut out to be Norm, I decided.

I managed to make it back to our hotel...sweating like a linebacker all the while...because I forgot to mention I was wearing leather shorts and a chambray button-up. It was weather-appropriate when I left around 8:45 a.m., but after lunch time, southern California weather ain't no joke. It's not humid like South Carolina, but it's still August in the northern hemisphere.

That night we had dinner with the big business group and called it a night early.

The next morning began much like the previous with Juanito going downstairs for a meeting and me deciding what I was going to do with myself. I walked across the street to Panera and once again, ordered a rather large quantity of food. Whoopsie.

I took my bounty outside to the patio and was greeted by about 10-15 tiny brown birds. They didn't try to steal my food outrightly, but they hovered around me at my feet and on chairs nearby daring me to drop a crumb. They were seriously within inches of me all around and weren't threatened by my stomping feet, yelling at them to go away or shooing them with my hands, so I decided to let them be.

If you've ever seen the animated Disney version of Cinderella, it was just like that scene where she's getting dressed and ready for her day of scrubbing floors....except they weren't tying ribbons in my hair and shit like that. They were waiting to steal my "everything bagel" like little thieves...but anyway....just like that scene.

Little Brown Bird (one of MANY)

I was by myself until an Australian man and his companion came out and we briefly discussed the little bird thieves and they sat at the table behind me.

THEN......a man bursts out of the door to the restaurant and onto the patio and asks if "anyone is willing to be a volunteer?"

I looked over both of my shoulders and much to my dismay the Australians were oblivious. I looked back at this man and realized he was talking only to me and put it together that he was homeless and wanted some food. And here's how that conversation went.

Man: Is anyone willing to be a volunteer?
Me: Ummmm......what?
Man: I'm an evangelist, so I technically don't get a paycheck, but I'd really appreciate anything you can do to help me....blah blah blah.

I didn't hear the rest because I was putting together in my mind that he was homeless and I needed to figure out if I was going to help him or not.

Me: Um......sure. Would you like a bagel or something?
Man: Well, no. I only eat things from the ground. I'm on a fast and I only eat salads, so I can't eat a bagel.
Me: Um.....welllll......I really think you should eat something that will stick with you longer than a salad. I'd be happy to buy you a bagel, but I'd like to finish eating first.
Man: Okay, well I really only eat salads because I'm fasting, but sure, finish eating.
Me: Okay. (Thinking this was an adamantly healthy homeless man and maybe he'd be gone by the time I finished eating.)

Nope. I took my tray in and he was sitting beside the window, watching me....just like those damn brown birds. We make eye contact. I decide to buy him a salad.

Me: Hey. I'll buy you a salad. Come on.
Man: Thank you. Thank you. That's so nice of you. God told me to talk to you. You were the only person wearing that color (and he gestures toward my hot pink dress.)

Thanks, J. Crew. And God, I'm glad you approve of my sartorial choices.

So, Chris and I (I finally asked his name and told him mine) stand in line at Panera together for about 10 minutes discussing his fast and his love for Jesus. I told him I was from South Carolina and he asked me if North and South Carolina are enemies. I told him only when it comes to deciding who the "real" Carolina is. He then told me he was thinking of moving to North Carolina, but I told him the weather was not nearly as good there. He agreed. He then told me he sure could go for an orange juice and then started lauding the benefits of his fast and how it had weaned him off caffeine and he had more energy, etc. I explained, between sips of my diet coke, that I wasn't sure I could give up caffeine. Chris assured me I could and that it would do wonders for my body and energy levels.

It was like talking to a freaking doctor...or a nutritionist or something.

He thanked me again and said he had a very long day ahead of him--going until 9:30 tonight--and this would be a great start.

We finally got to the front of the line and ordered, I gave him his receipt to pick up his meal at the window and left him there. All in all, I'd say Chris the homeless man pretty much made my day, as weird as that sounds.

And that made me thankful for my life. Although, if I were homeless, San Diego wouldn't be a totally terrible place to be.

So that's First #3: Befriending a homeless man.

All in all, I had a pretty solid weekend in San Diego.

This one's for the girls

2011-08-19T13:15:00.001-04:00

Just wanted to give a shout-out to my fave ladies and dude. You guys know who you are. Glad that through good, bad, ugly, sad and bitchy, we bring our A-game when the goin' gets tough...and even when the goin' is groovy.

We know how to laugh at each other, ourselves and people we don't like (just kidding...sort of) AND ALWAYS have a fab time.

Can't wait to see some of you this weekend. I'm bringing my A-game....and an arsenal of wine, of course.

Image from here

Cybershopaholics Unite

2011-07-26T11:22:00.001-04:00

New York Fashion Week is something I look forward to, much like a holiday, each year.

Lame? Maybe, but I'm definitely not the only one.

This year I celebrated my own online fashion week by default--I watched almost all the live streaming shows from my bed as a result of a yucky, five-day flu situation. As nerdy as I felt at the time, it was pretty freaking cool. I felt like I was front row at Jason Wu wearing my TART leopard pajamas.

Trés chic, no?

Each year, more and more designers have elected to simultaneously stream their shows online to allow for a greater audience and further bolster their digital presence. Hello....aren't you following Marc Jacobs on Twitter? I was SO close to winning his new doggy line for Ellie because I ~~whored her out~~ tweeted a picture of her looking super cute. She was a finalist, but alas, did not win.

sidenote: Juanito's cousin thinks I should start a talent portfolio for her because, not joking, she's been on a billboard, an event poster and said cousin swears she'd be perfect for a Chanel campaign. I think she's legitimately partied with Karl Lagerfeld, so I'm considering arming her with Ellie's tear sheet next time I see her.

I digress...

This December, Vogue is beginning what it hopes will be an annual event (and who says it won't if Ms. Anna is involved?) December 5-9, editors will gather and blog about the best online shopping deals in an effort to piggy-back off last year's Fashion's Night In. Exclusive offers and one-time-only collections will be showcased in an effort to raise more money for charity and celebrate all that is cybershopping.

Read all about it here and get excited.

Here's me pretending I'm Mary Kate Olsen at a fundraiser showing of Christian Siriano's Spring '09 line. I do not, however, have any photos of me sitting front row at Jason Wu donning my leopard PJs. Sorry.

The Bitch is Back

2011-07-06T10:58:00.002-04:00

Just like Elton John says, "The Bitch is Back!"

And I am.......from the beach for the past week. I can't honestly describe the whole trip as relaxing primarily due to the sheer amount of people we had crammed in a house for half the week, but it was definitely fun.

I actually have a baby tan, too. Something I haven't had in about four years after enduring lecture after lecture from my dermatologist. Fortunately I went to see her right BEFORE my trip.

Sneaky, eh?

I didn't take a whole lot of photos because I don't like taking electronics on the beach and that's where I am the majority of the time. I also only have so many hands and obviously my champagne hand was full. The other was reserved for horseshoes, cornhole or adjusting the angle at which my beach chair was reclined.

So, you see? I was too busy to take photos.

But look at how crazy this is!!!!!!

image via here

July 4, 2011 at Edisto

Practically identical.

Now for your viewing and listening enjoyment. Ironically, his suit is reminiscent of the American Flag.

Full circle, guys. Full circle.

Socialnomic Phenomena

2011-06-28T10:46:00.004-04:00

I've talked here before about my love for social media and how I'm always willing to try the latest thing and learn about what makes it great. For my friends who aren't well-versed in some of the more common forums, I'm constantly explaining and justifying why tools like Twitter, YouTube, Gowalla and Foursquare are important and what they mean in terms of real-time information gathering and sharing, as well as ROI for businesses.

Dorky, yes, but I've made this argument more times than I can count and FINALLY I've come across something that isn't a ~~boring~~ lengthy report on why social media is changing the world. Literally.

Most likely if you're reading So You Think You Can Nance you're at least somewhat involved in the social media universe, but check out this super thought-provoking video I discovered on Mashable this morning.

How 'bout these apples?

-Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber and Britney Spears have more Twitter followers than the entire populations of Sweden, Greece, North Korea and Australia.

-In 10 years, more than 40 percent of Fortune 500 companies won't exist.

-50 percent of Internet traffic in the U.K. is for Facebook.

-Generations Y and Z consider email passé.

-If Facebook were a country, it would be the third largest in the world.

And, I embedded the video, but due to the restricting main column of my blog template, you couldn't read all the text. So watch it here.

Sunday Snaps

2011-06-26T20:34:00.001-04:00

In light of a fantastically relaxing weekend during which I snapped quite a few iPhotos, I decided to create a little ditty (not Diddy, as in P.) to share with you guys.

Nothing staged. Nothing fancy. Just my so-called life. Sans Claire Danes, although I do love her.

Because it's the simple things in life that are the sweetest, no?

Belated birthday brunch with gifted home-grown tomatoes and flowers...in a Stella Artois glass. Love.

Missing Mykonos

This time last year Juanito y yo were in one of the most gorgeous places in the world and on one of the most fabulous trips I've ever taken. Dinner tonight was inspired by that with "gourmet" {quotation marks necessary} tapas, rosé and pretending the Mediterranean is right outside. With the infinity pool overlooking it.

And just like on vacation, we wore our bathing suits at the table.

Just kidding....that would be kinda weird since we didn't go swimming today.

Reminiscing to: Bronze Radio Return, Worth Wondering

Gotta Be a Good Life

2011-06-20T17:19:00.001-04:00

I keep music playing throughout my home all the time, no matter what I'm doing. Which is why you may have noticed that whenever I post any of my {super amateur} photography, I always document what I'm listening to. The images and music always magically go together perfectly...even when I don't have certain playlists going per my mood.

And even though this isn't my image, today was one of those days...

I want to be her. Right now.

Keepin' cool to: OneRepublic, Good Life

Muy Pinteresante!

2011-06-02T11:57:00.000-04:00

As a self-admitted social media whore, I'm willing to try anything {almost} and in my undying effort to do something about my school-bus-yellow dining room, I'm always up for inspiration.

Aside from Google Image searches for Elle Decor, Kelly Wearstler, Houzz.com and anything else that I knew would conjure up images of aesthetic masterpieces, I recently discovered Pinterest.

Added to my arsenal of social media forums that I check every day will now be yet another.

It's essentially a digital inspiration board that rests neatly among the interwebs. I've been pinning and pining, for that matter, over international homes and well-designed spaces, fashion, food, and just good ol' funny junk.

Like this...

This is the second funniest mat I've seen since I discovered, and then was gifted, the "Hi, I'm Mat." mat. Perhaps I should start a line of punny doormats...

So anyway, get to pinning and see what Pinterests you!

Light as a Fether

2011-05-23T10:43:00.000-04:00

I've been in lust with Erin Fetherston's designs for a while now and love the ethereal feel to her clothes--especially the dresses. And the blouses. And pretty much everything.

So it's a treat to see gorgeous photos of her Parisian-inspired Tribeca apartment, which is exactly how I would imagine it--light, airy, beautiful and simple.

It's so deliciously girly without dripping in pink and ribbons and bows...quite possibly exactly how my five-year-old self envisioned my grown-up home, but probably with more pink, actually. And more ribbons. And more bows.

To experience full-on apartment envy, visit vogue.com and see all of Claiborne Swanson Frank's images of Erin's breathtaking home.

Dining Room Dilemma

2011-05-19T12:33:00.002-04:00

Before I moved in with Juanito he (for some unknown reason) allowed me free reign with decorating. Maybe it was because he knew I wouldn't actually motivate myself to do anything too crazy, or what, but I decided to paint the dining room.

I wanted alternating matte/glossy gold vertical stripes above the chair-rail and matte beneath it. The faux-finish I achieved was exactly what I wanted. The stripes were perfectly vertical. The color was perfectly....school-bus yellow. When I finished painting one whole wall, I almost started crying because it was so heinous.

A friend who was helping me assured me it would be less offensive once we finished everything and I put the furniture back. She was mostly right, but I don't think she understood how much I truly hate yellow walls. They remind me too much of the Southern Living look of my college sorority house, which was well-decorated, but SO not my style. Imagine lots of yellow, gingham and a strawberry pattern thrown in here and there....yeah...ew.

So, I've been on a quest to figure out what to do in there ever since and every time I look at it I get more and more irritated because it looks so dull/passe/not me. I love color and want it to be vibrant and funky, but not look like I'm crazy.

For inspiration I've been thumbing through Kelly Wearstler images, because she is the queen of unrestrained use of color that's simultaneously over-the-top and glam, but PERFECTLY executed. I've resigned to the fact that I cannot make it happen in the color/pattern mashup department the way Kelly can, but I'm sure gonna try!

The rest of our house is fairly neutral--shades of grey--with pops of color in accessories, so I want the opposite in the stuffiest room of the house.

Here are some of the images I've pulled to help provide some cohesion to my initial idea, which has gotten a few raised eyebrows from friends I've told, but whatever. I like color--don't judge me.

Noticing how different these are? Me too...I have interior design A.D.D./indecisiveness disease, but there are elements in each photo that I want to incorporate. We shall see how it turns out. Have any of you done anything crazy in your house that you love?

My Wednesday Undies Say Cancer Ain't No Joke

2011-05-11T19:32:00.000-04:00

Wondering if you have cancer?

Just check your underoos.

Just kidding...well, sort of. I just read about Brazil's new bill requiring undergarment and lingerie manufacturers to post messages to consumers about cancer screenings on underwear. Seems logical, no?

Fortunately the wise lawmakers of the country decided that labels are just too darn small for packing in all of that important information, so now it will be printed on packaging instead.

MUCH better. And female consumers will also be reminded to please use condoms. You know, because women are the ones who are solely responsible for that sort of thing.

Perhaps Brazil should just pretend it's 1950 and suggest that women also stay their inferior asses in the home and remember their duties should be limited to child rearing and cooking.

You can read the entire article here via Advertising Age.

Nice work, Brazil.

Royal Caption Perfection

2011-04-29T09:52:00.003-04:00

I stumbled across the most perfect blog via a friend's blog the other day and wanted to share. It's shots of Kate Middleton with the most hilarious captions--the above is my personal favorite and may or may not become my personal slogan.

Be sure to check out all the hilarity at:

http://katemiddletonforthewin.tumblr.com

I started my day at a friend's house around 5:30 a.m. for a get-together involving chocolate chip scones, prosecco and a whole lot of confusion about royal etiquette and the Monarchy. Lovely little Friday. Now it's not even 10 and I'm ready for a nap, but after watching Kate and her beautiful sister, Pippa, walk down the aisle, I have decided to forgo a nap for the gym this morning. I'll bet they don't eat chocolate chip scones.

Happy Royal Wedding Friday! Did you do anything to celebrate today?

Blonde Moments cont.

2011-04-28T18:04:00.001-04:00

As those of you who know me probably already know, I'm not a huge baker. Not because I don't like homemade baked goods, quite the opposite actually. I like them so much that if I make anything I will eat it all because I:

A. Don't want it to go to waste
or
B. Am making it for an occasion and tend to mess up pieces and bits (I believe this is my fat-kid subconscious willing me to drop that brownie, or carelessly pry that gingerbread man from the cookie sheet, breaking it in the process and thereby forcing me to eat it for fear of being shunned because I presented someone with a less-than-aesthetically-perfect baked good.)

So, I don't bake very often because I prefer to spend those calories on champagne. And that's where this story comes full circle.

I've been waiting for an excuse to make some champagne cupcakes from a mix I was given as a gift a while back. I decided that the best time to debut them would be for the Royal Wedding tomorrow. (I'm not sure if AP Style says that should be capitalized, but it felt right there and Nance Style says it should, so BOOM!) I'm going to a get-together that begins shortly after 5 a.m. and I figured it's never too early for a cupcake.

Back to the story...

An abnormal (in my house) situation brought itself to my attention after I'd already mixed all the ingredients together except the champagne--I had none chilling in the fridge. I'm not sure if it's necessary that it be chilled for baking purposes, but for drinking-while-baking-purposes, this was a must so I popped some in the freezer.

After what seemed like a reasonable amount of time to chill, I opened it and poured the instructed amount in my mixing bowl. I then was trying to figure out a way to finagle the bottle back into our full fridge and decided it would be a better fit if it were horizontal. I still haven't quite figured out the best way to configure the shelves in our new fridge--they fold and collapse and do weird things to accommodate more items, but somehow this freaks out my brain and while I know I'm not using the fridge to its fullest capacity, I haven't taken the time to assess how to do so.

Sigh.

Anyhow, I grabbed a cork from the drawer to fit into the bottle because you can't stick champagne corks back in there--a damn shame, but a problem I rarely have as bottles rarely need preserving.

The best corks I have that fit well into all previous champagne bottles were those that came with our wine preserver, quite possibly the most utilized wedding gift we received. So, I put one in there.

Don't try this at home.

Why, you ask? Well, these little guys have tiny holes in the top so the pump that accompanied them in the package can extract the air, but I swear I thought they were somehow one-way until you used the pump.

As previously mentioned, I'd already determined storage could be maximized by placing this bottle horizontally, so I did.

And, Old Faithful in the form of Veuve came spewing out in all directions...ALL directions. Up, down, on me and every place in between. I somehow managed to cover a wall approximately 15 feet away in champagne--a modern physics phenomenon, I tell you.

Fortunately all that spewage didn't waste much more than half of a glass--another phenomenon because it sure seemed like a hell of a lot when it sprayed me pressure-washer-style in the eyes, nose and mouth.

So I've learned yet another lesson about champagne that I thought I'd already learned the hard way in college.

Treat that bottle like the loaded gun it is.

Don't aim it at yourself unless you have your eyes and nose covered..............

............and your mouth open.

April Showers Bring

2011-04-26T16:58:00.000-04:00

Photojournalistic lovelies from Vegas...

Listening to: The Killers, This Is Your Life

Without Further Ado

2011-04-21T17:33:00.000-04:00

After many weeks (that seemed like years) of being without a kitchen, we finally finished everything a couple weeks ago and it's so nice to have a space I enjoy! I'm not even sure not having a kitchen was the worst part of the entire process; it quite possibly was the fact that our entire downstairs looked like it was straight out of an episode of Hoarders: Buried Alive. Seriously. Or maybe that eating takeout for seven weeks does a number on one's personal fitness level.

There were dishes stacked high on every surface in the dining room, laundry baskets full of spices, cleaning supplies and all the various odds and ends that were inhabiting our cabinets on display for those who passed by. And by passed by, I mean tip-toed while holding their breath so as not to knock anything over while walking through.

The kitchen table and chairs were neatly stacked in front of the fireplace and once we were out of a refrigerator, my wine fridge became our main source for luke-warm diet cokes and a home for takeout leftovers we tried to salvage the next day. It was lovely.

No major SNAFUs occurred, however we did discover four (!) layers of linoleum under the floor, so roughly 1.33 layers per decade, and some nice areas where the floor was rotted. I guess when in doubt, just cover that with another layer of vinyl...?

So, here is what I started with. Remember when I said it wasn't a far cry from the abomination shown here? I wasn't lying.

Lovely, no?

So...I won't show you any mid-renovation photos, because you don't care, but here's the "after."

Unfortunately my photography leaves a bit to be desired and there is only so far I can back into the opposite wall to get a good angle, but you get the idea...it's WAY better.

I can't figure out if my favorite thing is the under-cabinet lighting, the white leather nailhead chairs I found or the backsplash and floor tile. Or the granite....or all of it because I picked it out. :)

All I know is I now sit in there all the time, even when I'm not cooking, which was the exact opposite of before. If I could have cooked dinner in our living room two months ago, I would have. I hated it that much.

I now not only enjoy cooking in there, but I....wait for it....also like cleaning in there. It's good motivation to keep things clean when they're brand new, so we'll see how long that little habit lasts. Also, stainless steel will show fingerprints like nobody's business. Like CSI-style. So, hopefully when you come over it won't look like a crime scene any time soon, our yard might though, because that's the next big project.

It never ends.

Counting Down

2011-04-06T10:22:00.000-04:00

Listening to: Mike Snow, Black & Blue

Miss Priss

2011-03-30T21:16:00.001-04:00

I'm not one to readily show others my baby and little-kid photos, but my mom posted this picture to Facebook on my birthday and it really makes me laugh...primarily because twenty-five-ish years later I pretty much still pose like this--legs crossed, cheesy grin, drink-in-hand and a FIERCE outfit (at least in my mind. Who sports a blazer and cuffed pants at four years old??)

Guess I was pretty much "me" from day one.

A Beautiful Moment

2011-03-24T14:54:00.000-04:00

Chillin' to: David Gray, Babylon

Dismantling an '80s Kitchen

2011-03-08T16:48:00.000-05:00

I recently began remodeling my kitchen. I'm documenting the rejuvenation and will share before and after photos upon completion, but for the record, it was not a far cry from this:

Cue the anxiety.

I did some initial planning, stage-one gutting, prepping and paint testing--just enough to dismantle the functionality of the room and then headed off for a week-long jaunt to the Bahamas.

This put me a little behind, but upon my return home I'm now kind of glad that I don't have a kitchen in which to prepare food, mainly because my post-vacation waistline leaves a bit to be desired...or a bit less, if you will.

A couple days into week two, I now have made a granite choice, tile choices for the floor and possibly the backsplash (damn my indecisiveness!) and quotes from the painter and cabinet refinishing company.

I'm rolling into high gear for the next few weeks because my goal is to have this finished before my next trip to Vegas for...wait for it........CELINE DION!

Dorky? Yes.
Will my partner in crime and I have an awesome time and carry on our sh*t show tradition? Probably.

So, here's to hoping that after I see this:

... I will come home and see this..(or something vaguely similar)...

Dirt, Failure and Tears

2011-02-18T10:02:00.002-05:00

As promised here, I made my first foray into the world of Veganomicon and in an effort to document said foray, here you go.

I was un poquito intimidated by all the tofu, tempeh, seitan-talk in the cookbook, so I opted for a recipe in which all the ingredients made cameos as themselves--they weren't masquerading as another ingredient, say...tofu for meat.

I really really really like mushrooms, so I thought Porcini and Wild Rice soup might be up my fungi-lovin' alley. After I spent what seemed like ages in the health food market--which I usually only visit to buy ear candles--I ventured home with all my booty.

I unpacked all the ingredients and read the recipe again. I was excited to start. After dumping in the dried porcini mushrooms, I decided I'd like to sample one. I didn't know what constituted as a porcini mushroom, so I thought maybe my taste buds might be able to clue me in.

DO NOT do this. It was potentially the nastiest thing I've ever willingly put in my mouth. This probably should have alerted me as to how the final result would taste; we'll call it foreshadowing.

The porcinis had to soak to make a broth while I was preparing the other ingredients, so I thought maybe they'd taste better once saturated in water.

(Sidenote: Do non-dry porcinis exist for sale somewhere? I'm confused why I purposely was instructed to buy dried when I turned around and soaked them. Whatever.)

After stirring, monitoring and coddling for about an hour, I was looking at this:

The glass of Prosecco to the right was critical in returning my taste buds to their regular state.

I was excited to try my inaugural vegan meal described by the cookbook as "....an easy recipe for what tastes like a ten-dollar bowl of soup at a swanky Manhattan sidewalk cafe. Perfect for serving your yuppie friends."

La. Ti. Da.

I cut off some chervil and garnished what I knew would be a culinary masterpiece.

Still not looking too bad? Well, it was DISGUSTING.

It tasted like dirt, failure and tears.

But, I ate it anyway because you saw how big that pot was. I tricked Juanito into eating some by failing to mention this was our vegan meal of the week. He took a bite, looked at me and said, "Seriously?"

And that was it.

The pot is still sitting in the refrigerator. Don't ask me why I saved it. I thought maybe it would improve with age--letting all the ingredients marry over night. I haven't touched it since.

I thought out loud that maybe I should take it to the Oliver Gospel Mission.

Yelled from the living room I heard, "Those bums don't wanna eat that crap!" followed by hysteric laughter.

Oh well. Better luck next time, Veganomicon.

Bill Cunningham New York

2011-02-16T15:11:00.000-05:00

"The best fashion show is definitely on the street...always has been and always will be."

-Bill Cunningham

Street style and blogs that cater to it are one of the coolest things to happen to the fashion industry, in my opinion. I had no idea the history behind street style and its evolution and that Bill Cunningham, a photographer for the New York Times pretty much pioneered the niche.

I've talked about him before here, and even mentioned I wasn't sure who he was, but thought he was hilarious and great. Apparently I've been living under a rock because this guy is a big deal.

A new documentary chronicling his life and the huge impact he's had on the sartorial scene in New York and around the world is opening in New York March 16. I would LOVE for the Nickelodeon in Columbia to show it. So much so, that I just emailed them to request it and I encourage you to email them also, so they are aware of the demand. Just shoot a quick message to filmselection@nickelodeon.org and let them know you're interested in seeing Bill Cunningham New York--it'll be great. Just do it.

Here's the website to learn more about where it's scheduled to play now--if you don't live in South Carolina: http://zeitgeistfilms.com/billcunninghamnewyork/

Also, here's the trailer for your viewing pleasure--I love this guy!

Isn't he great? Okay, now go email the Nickelodeon, pretty please!

One more bit of evidence that fashion influences interior design and vice versa

2011-02-09T14:31:00.000-05:00

Kelly Wearstler is pretty much the bomb. I'm sure you know who she is, but just in case you don't, here are some of her interior design projects. Hello, eye candy.

Trina Turk's LA studio (not a surprising designer pairing)

A Brentwood, CA home

South Beach's Tides Hotel Lobby

So, that's enough to tell how awesome she is if you weren't already aware, right? Well, she just announced yesterday that she will be conquering the sartorial world next.

Kelly Wearstler will be designing a collection for fall, exclusively for Bergdorf Goodman, consisting of clothing, jewelry, clutches and scarves. (AGH!) Although the price points are a bit high ranging $205-$1,395 for clothes; $155-$995 for jewelry; and $795-$995 for bags, I'm still pretty pumped. And, there's always hope that Gilt will feature a Kelly Wearstler sale.

Since I don't subscribe to WWD, pop on over to another one of my favorite blogs, SHEfinds to check out some of the looks. I wouldn't mind sporting pretty much all of that in the Bahamas next month. Nothing like fashion to make you excited for something that's three seasons away when it's the dead middle of winter!

Fri-YAY

2011-02-04T16:45:00.001-05:00

Ringin' in the weekend to: Keane, Stop for a Minute

Oprah changed the way I think.........again

2011-02-01T18:26:00.002-05:00

Today's episode of Oprah was a game-changer for me. I'm not sure how many of you watched it, but it featured Kathy Freston, a best-selling author and vegan enthusiast and Michael Pollan, another well-known author and journalist who is an omnivore, but researches and writes in an effort for people to educate themselves about the journey of their food.

I'm a meat-eater. I always have been. I understand that that meat used to moo, oink, cluck, gobble or swim. I've been trying to be better about eating organic and local, which has vastly improved since college and graduate school as my food budget no longer consists of money for wine and whatever else I can afford.

Ramen, don't get me wrong, I love you, but our relationship ended a while ago and I just don't see myself coming back to you or Kraft macaroni and cheese, among other old flames.

I digress. Anyway, Lisa Ling took a trip to Cargill, a beef processing plant in Colorado, and gave viewers a good look at how cattle are harvested and slaughtered. According to Pollan's research, Cargill is one of the most humane plants in the country. It was also the only facility that allowed Oprah's cameras inside. (I don't trust anywhere/anyone that/who won't let you see inside their "kitchen", for lack of a better word.)

The footage was pretty graphic and I definitely cried a bit watching it, but I think if you can't handle learning about and/or seeing how the meat gets to you, then you don't need to be eating it. The goal here wasn't to discourage people from eating meat, but to demystify the process.

I don't eat that much red meat to begin with, but I think I'll be eating even less from now on.

Oprah also challenged her staff to go vegan for a week and it was really interesting to hear them talk about how much better their..ahem..digestion was, how much more energy they had and how the food could still be delicious.

Some lost weight. Some didn't.

Some stuck to it. Some didn't.

But, the goal was to get people thinking about their food and its journey and to be more responsible about our food choices--not only for the benefit of the animals that feed us, but also for our health. Healthcare crisis, anyone?

Pollan shared some great statistics that are just too numerous to recount, but I urge you to google him and check out his research--it's really eye-opening.

So, all of that got me thinking that I'm going to start trying to make a vegan meal at least once a week and really decrease the amount of meat I consume.

At the recommendation of one of my very healthy, very vegetarian friends, I purchased:

This:

and this:

And will update you--with photographic evidence--as soon as I start cooking from them. This should be interesting.

Have any of you taken a stab at being a vegetarian, or at least have any good recipes you want to share?

Back to the Bahamas

2011-01-31T18:58:00.000-05:00

Groovin' to: The Del-Vikings, Come Go With Me

Just a Little Shopping...

2011-01-27T13:10:00.001-05:00

Jammin' to: Stéphane Grappelli, Sweet Lorraine

SnowMG!

2011-01-10T13:50:00.000-05:00

Digital Park Bench

2011-01-07T11:25:00.000-05:00

For the past several years, I have loved following The Sartorialist. The excitement at seeing a bold, new post from him on my RSS feed never abates. His attention to detail and completely open mind regarding design, proportion and aesthetics is truly inspiring. What I found even more inspiring was finally seeing the man behind the camera and listening to him talk about what drives him.

His work is truly beautiful and just generally makes me happy, especially on this dreary Friday. Here's to being inspired this weekend!

Pointe Shoes Optional

2011-01-03T18:52:00.001-05:00

While I generally agree with most that's proclaimed in the New York Times style section, after skimming this article, among others this afternoon, I don't think anything they've mentioned lately is terribly on target.

What I found most ridiculous was their cause for prediction that ballet-inspired fashion is returning to the mainstream due to the movie, Black Swan. It sort of seems like a natural progression for all the fashion houses mentioned in the article judging by what they've put out in the past and how it's evolved over the years and this will obviously trickle down to other levels.

With the exception of a tutu (on an adult, at least) I'm a pretty big fan of the ballet-inspired look. For me, cozy black wrap sweaters paired with pale pink has pretty much been a favorite combination since about 1986....and perhaps it started in my ballet class, but I think it's a little offensive to group sartorial geniuses like Karl Lagerfeld and Alexander McQueen's designers with a mediocre movie and state that primarily because of the offbeat, somewhat perverse ballerina flick, we're going to be seeing and, more importantly, dying to don tulle galore come spring.

No thanks. The author also mentions that we haven't seen this since Carrie Bradshaw's early days. Yes, we have and I think anyone who's shopped at Forever 21 or H&M in the past decade has the pieces in their closet to prove it. It's not like frills and feathers have been hiding from us since the late 90s. I also think she discounts a legion of bloggers, some of whom now have major design partnerships, as trendsetters in their own right who are driving what people (will) want to wear. People don't pull their personal style inspiration from one or even five places. They pull from everywhere.

I don't think ballerina-chic can be so acutely pinpointed to one source like....say.....in 1995 when everyone and their mama (practically) had a chunky, layered haircut because they'd told their hair stylist they wanted "The Rachel."

I might be totally wrong here or have completely misinterpreted the article, but I just can't see Black Swan being the major driving force for our garment choices come spring. And if it is, I think that's a bit embarrassing, don't you?

Whatever, Martha

2010-12-15T19:05:00.004-05:00

'Tis the season for baking and I figured I'd jump on the bandwagon. I usually try to make something to package sweetly and have around for extra goodies for neighbors, unexpected guests and host gifts, and this year I found a recipe for Martha Stewart's Cigarettes Russes. What....a joke. The recipe seemed fairly simple and how freaking cute would these look in a little mason jar with some jute or gold wire ribbon tied around the top?

I know, right? So I'm pretty crafty and possess minor culinary ability and I thought, "I can totally knock this out in an afternoon." Wrong. Not only did I not knock it out in an afternoon, I abandoned the recipe before I'd even baked all the batter. Good thing my multiple trips to Hobby Lobby and Dollar Tree in search of mason jars were fruitless.

After festively donning my apron, pouring a glass of pinot noir and patting myself on the back for being Susie Q. Homemaker, I made the batter and let it congeal in the fridge for a couple hours, all the while wrapping Christmas presents I'd been hoarding since before Thanksgiving.

After the specified amount of time, I removed the batter from the depths of our fridge and set out to follow Martha's instructions to the T in an effort to take said Cigarettes Russes as a hostess gift for a party tomorrow night (back pat.) I'm telling you, there's a reason we're told not to celebrate early.

So if you read the recipe, you saw that I had about six minutes or less to roll the russes while another batch was baking. Armed with a dowel (to make an even roll) I hurriedly scraped each "cookie" off the sheet and attempted to roll. To my dismay, I was not presented with the above picture. They were too thick and doughy--not thin, delicate (as Martha said they would be) wafers. No. They were cake-like, stunted, cigar/twinkie-looking abominations.

That was the first batch. I decided that I had detected their fatal flaw and I was merely spreading the batter too thickly onto the pan. I'm so smart.

With my next batch, I took care to thinly spread the batter and make each oval symmetrical so when I rolled them later, they'd be beauts. Six minutes later the timer went off and I removed them from the oven. So far, so good. I then began to roll onto the dowel.

FAIL.

Since I'd spread the batter so thin, they needed less baking time even though Martha said six minutes at 425 was sufficient, this was clearly not the case. They were too crunchy and broke when I attempted to roll.

"Third time's the charm," I thought and I spread my third batch as thinly as the second, but wised up and reduced the bake time by a couple minutes. Dead set in monitoring the russes' status, I held vigil in front of the oven. I wasn't going to F up this time. The timer went off and I removed from the oven, resolute that ideal results would be achieved this go 'round.

Nope. This time they were too pliable and when I spatula-ed them from the cookie sheet they wrinkled up and didn't roll up very well with the dowel. BLAST!

At this point, I was pretty over this recipe and decided it couldn't get any worse so I'd just make a big cookie blob with the rest of the dough and maybe make the chocolate icing to go on top. I mean, the scraps I'd popped during my first couple batches tasted quite good, in fact.

So after all that, I have no hostess gift, a big cookie blob on which to waste my calories (because it's too freaking ugly to give anyone) and extreme frustration as to why I can't pull off something seemingly simple.

WHATEVER, MARTHA!

If any of you make this recipe and have it turn out well, I'd like to know your secret. I'd also like to see photographic evidence.

Interior Crush

2010-12-07T11:51:00.006-05:00

In a constant quest to de-bachelorize* my home, I've scoured countless design, art and fashion blogs for inspiration and noted what does and doesn't work (for me) in other homes. As many of you can attest, when you enter Juanito's and my house, it is, (and I describe it as) a work in progress.

Interior design is extremely difficult for me, which is irritating because I never have a problem deciding what I like in any other realm of aesthetic presentation. It's easy to flip through Elle Decor or old issues of Domino and see beautiful spaces crafted by amazing designers like Kelly Wearstler or Christopher Guy and get inspired, but I also enjoy spaces created by those who don't make their living from interior design and still manage to pull off something beautiful.

One of my favorite blogs to which I've subscribed for quite a while is The Glamourai--you should check it out if you're into style at all. While mostly covering her unique personal fashion sense and beautifully crafted jewelry, Kelly Framel recently redecorated her apartment and I'm in love. While I'm a bit more minimalist, I think that's a lot easier said than done when living in NYC, which I don't.

So now, I can find absolutely no excuse for not making our home beautiful and cohesive and am utterly inspired by Apartment Therapy's virtual tour of her home.

*Read: Removal of all framed mallard duck and Gamecock "art" and liquor and beer paraphernalia

Attention Public Singers

2010-11-09T12:57:00.012-05:00

I go to the gym to work out and that is the only reason. I don't like it, I'm just making up for copious amounts of food and alcohol. I don't like to leisurely pedal on the stationary bike and peruse InStyle or saunter through the lobby to show everyone my new Nikes and flirt with the eye-candy at the front desk.

I generally look pretty rough when I'm there. I'm usually make-upless, red-faced and sweating like a 300-pound man, so I also don't like to talk to people I know while I'm there.

I don't like to make small talk while on the elliptical with the middle-aged man beside me who seems unusually interested in what mile I'm on and how many calories I've burned.

So, suffice it to say, I also do not like to be serenaded while I'm makeupless, red-faced and sweating like a 300-pound man on said elliptical.

Today, I encountered a new breed of gym-goer. You've probably come across this person before in the grocery store or the mall. They're much more common around the holidays or during some sort of joyous occasion (however, pumping it on the elliptical does not constitute as such for me. )

Yes, friends, today I encountered the public singer beside me at the gym. It wasn't so noticeable at first. I was in the middle of one of Pitbull's musical masterpieces and I heard what I thought were some new background vocals I had never heard before...a remix of sorts. Nope.

It was homegirl beside me BELTING out gospel hits. I glanced at her and noted no earbuds in sight. Her machine's television was not on. Honeychild was singing to the good Lord from her soul!

On the elliptical.

Exercising at a pretty rapid pace.

At first it was comical. Another five minutes later--mildly annoying. How was I the only person who was bothered by this?

Five more minutes passed and I switched to a machine across the track from her.

I'm all about being cheery and bursting into spontaneous song, but if I can hear you over my endless mix of Pitbull, 50 Cent and Shakira song after song after song--we have a problem.

Sh*t My Mom Says

2010-10-19T20:50:00.011-04:00

So, this is not nearly as funny as Justin Halpern's Shit My Dad Says, but nevertheless I was entertained. So maybe you will be, as well. Or maybe not.

As an only child I receive copious calls from my parents on a weekly basis. Only children, you can probably relate...

All the only children (all the only children)
All the only children (all the only children)

Hopefully you just sang that to yourself to the tune of Beyonce's Put a Ring on it without me prompting you...if not, you probably just thought I was a big weirdo, but if you read this blog on a semi-regular basis, you probably already think that anyway.

ANYWAY...

I had just gotten off the phone with my mom for the first time today and within a three-minute period, she called again.

Me: Hey (level of irritation is palpable given we just got off the phone with each other)

Mom: Did you see your mail on the table when you stopped by earlier? (I stopped by my parents' house earlier in the day because I was taking out their dogs and occupying my time. I've recently become a Lady of Leisure and my days are spent doing whatever I damn well please.)

Me: No.

Mom: You got something from Brand Week.

Me: Okay.

Mom: Is that important?

Me: No.

Mom: Are you sure you don't need it?

Me: Yes I'm sure, Mom. It's a magazine.

Mom: Okay, well I just wanted to be sure you saw it if you needed it.

Me: Okay, thanks. I don't.

Mom: Okay. I didn't know if it was like Fashion Week and that was somewhere you needed to be.

Gotta love my mom.

Have you ever encountered an Alot?

2010-10-14T10:35:00.006-04:00

Over a much-needed girls' wine night with a side of dinner the other evening, we began talking about some of the most egregious grammatical mistakes we've come across on the Internet. Sometimes they occur on well-respected news sites; sometimes we run across them on friends' blogs. (I'm probably included in that, by the way.)

Side note: There's always a hierarchy of discussion topics at these get-togethers with this certain group of my friends. We usually begin with something light, say, someone's stupid Facebook status update or a fabulous new dress someone scored for next to nothing. Then we move on to more serious, albeit dorky topics like the aforementioned discussion. This usually is a prelude to even more serious issues that sometimes lead to very feisty debates amongst us. Previous topics include, religion, politics (this usually occurs late-night and sometimes during weekend trips leads to more than one sarcastic comment the next morning over coffee because the grudge is still lingering) natural disasters and their effect on future generations, etc.

Anyway, I've been known to make grammatical errors occasionally because really, how important is it in a casual setting? Not very. However, there are certain instances when making simple errors makes one look like an idiot. I understand if you do it once or twice, but as soon as I start noticing you make the same mistake pretty much every time you try to use that word, I'm automatically thinking less of your general capabilites within the English language. For those of you reading this who are thinking that's harsh and you can't believe I would judge someone on something so trivial, I'll say almost everyone does it.

Remember that Sex and the City when Carrie is so insecure about Big's new wife, Natasha, and then it ends as she is reading the thank you note from her that has a really embarrassing error in it? And then she feels better?

It's like that.

So with all that said, one friend who participated in that discussion sent me something hilarious on the subject of grammar and I had to share.

Have you ever encountered an Alot? They're far superior to...well...everyone.

Inspiration for a Rainy Monday

2010-09-27T18:45:00.007-04:00

"I was taught never to waste a good recession."
Angela Ahrendts, CEO of Burberry

Over the course of the past week, I've taken quite a bit of time to reflect on what I'm doing with my life and where I want to be. I have always firmly believed that as one door closes, another opens...and before that second door creaks (or bursts) open, you gotta stick your head out the window and get some fresh air!

So in my ongoing quest for fresh air, I came across a WSJ article from the beginning of this month covering the rise to the top of current Burberry CEO, Angela Ahrendts and found it extremely inspiring. As a middle-class midwesterner from Indiana, she has carved out a name for herself in the fashion industry while still maintaining a remarkable level of class, drive and humility. Managing a well-established, international fashion brand seems daunting enough, but she climbed aboard right before the bottom fell out and succeeded in not only replacing the proverbial bottom without landing on hers, but also improved sales during a time in which it seemed impossible.

Her take on the importance of digital media in the fashion industry, as well as her unwavering determination--and humor--have definitely convinced me not to waste a good recession and I urge you to do the same.

Check out the WSJ article

A Social Experiment

2010-08-30T12:02:00.003-04:00

As I creep into my late-twenties I’ve been thinking a lot about life stages and what norms are associated with them regarding behavior, accomplishments, etc. I think it’s interesting to see what family and friends are doing during whatever life stage in which they might find themselves.

Well over forty, unmarried with successful international career? Cool. Under twenty-five, married with kids and your career consists of making sure said kids and husband have everything they need/want/yearn for? Also cool.

Another thing I’ve also noticed about these life stages is that people who aren’t doing what you’re doing, for lack of a better description, are always asking questions. I don’t think this is a bad thing, but it got me thinking that as the one being questioned, you are constantly having to answer the same thing over and over again…and your questions change…depending on your life stage. So, you will constantly be answering the same questions over and over again and the only reprieve and/or change of content comes when you make some significant life change.

I think it begins somewhere during sophomore or junior year of high school when, for the next two to three years you get: “So, where do you want to go to college?”

Two to three years later: “So, how’s college/dorm/sorority/fraternity life?” How many possible answers to this question are there?

After college you get: “So, how’s the job going?” Then, if you get your M-R-S degree after college you hear “How’s the wedding planning going?” or “How’s married life treating you?” or, my personal favorite that I received for the first time during my actual wedding reception, “When do you want to have kids?” Whoa, lady. One step at a time.

My interviewee experience ends here, but I’m sure my pregnant and have-been-pregnant friends can attest to endlessly hearing and having to answer:

“When’s the baby due?”

“How’s being a mom?

“Are you going to have another? When?!”

“How are the kids?”

And then, when the kids are old enough to answer for themselves, the cycle begins again when they are sixteen or so.

With all of these questions…how many answers are there that you are really going to tell people and when comes the point at which you realize you have a perfectly crafted elevator statement or speech to address these hackneyed cross-examination sessions? I know I have.

I don’t mean to come off bitter, because I’m not (amused, yes) and I realize people are just making conversation and some are genuinely interested in the answer. That’s fine, just please know that eight times out of ten, the interviewee is not genuinely interested in answering you or playing this game of “So, how’s the (current life stage event/preparation for it/etc.?)” They will tell you what they’d like for you to know.

I think it would be a neat social experiment to set a goal of answering these questions in the most shocking and bewildering manner you can possibly conceive, or giving the person entirely too much information.

Q: How’s college going?
A: Oh, pretty great. I really like being able to come home at all hours and sleeping with sundry partners after a solid drunken fraternity mixer. It’s way more fun than high school.

Methinks that will be the last time you have to answer that one for a while.

Or…

Q: When do you want to have kids?
A: Never. (Don’t preface this with anything or explain yourself. Say that, smile and walk away.)

Or you could make up some congenital birth defect you have and get really graphic in what would result if you went full-term.

I’m still coming up with something creative to say to what I continually get asked. Because answering “Good” to “How’s married life?” is just not nearly entertaining enough for my liking.

Piperlime...the new "Queen Bee?"

2010-08-17T15:03:00.006-04:00

The advertising agency by which I'm employed has an internal blog we use for everyone to share ideas, articles, stupid YouTube videos...whatever. After some initial hard work by the innovators, pushing from the early adopters and welcoming from the early majority, it's now a pretty good source of advertising information and things I find pretty interesting.

One of my co-workers posted this article today and then IMed me to be certain I saw it...guess I'm not as mysterious as I'd like to be. I'm not mysterious at all actually...this is a problem due to my frequent diarrhea of the mouth and/or the constant innate necessity I feel to share my opinion with others--sometimes despite their desire for it.

Anyway, this article from Ad Age regarding Piperlime's new branding strategy is interesting. Honestly, I rather like the approach they've taken and here are my reasons why:

1. Any solid campaign that opines strongly is going to alienate some groups. It differentiates the brand and establishes an identity.

2. One of the comments said something about Gap’s past branding being “meh.” I couldn’t agree more and this is a remedy.

3. Rachel Zoe and her “picks” are a huge part of their branding effort and overall success, and her persona completely fits this messaging strategy. It makes sense.

4. The people who don’t like it are probably the same people who don velour jumpsuits with SEXY rhinestoned across the behind and/or those who feel it acceptable to sport pajamas in public. I had to get dressed this morning–so do you.

5. I am not a “mean girl.” (This isn't really a reason, but since this was an office-wide forum, I felt the need to defend myself from inevitable "snob" comments.

So check out the article. What do you think? Should Rachel McAdams step aside? Is Piperlime the newest "Mean Girl" on the block?

http://adage.com/article?article_id=145411

Digital Genius

2010-08-10T16:56:00.002-04:00

There isn’t much to say about this as I think it speaks for itself. I will say that I think there are numerous lessons to be learned from this and the tip of the iceberg is the power of the digital universe.

Another point to note: The acronym used to describe her became the fifth most popular item Googled today.

http://thechive.com/2010/08/10/girl-quits-her-job-on-dry-erase-board-emails-entire-office-33-photos/

Footwear Friday

2010-08-06T10:12:00.004-04:00

I used to seriously hate shoe shopping. I know, it's weird. However, I also used to be blessed with a quadruple A--that's AAAA--foot. My feet were so narrow it sparked shoe salesmen everywhere to balk at my freakishly skinny tootsies and work tirelessly to succeed in getting shoes to actually fit them. Throw in my finger-like toes (which I still possess) and I was a regular freak-show from the ankle down. Fortunately, the width of my feet has since widened, or my foot flattened out or something, and I'm able to shop at normal shoe stores like everyone else.

One trend I've liked for many reasons over the past couple summers is the gladiator, Grecian-inspired sandal. One reason--they're just really cute and versatile. Another reason--and most important--the various and sundry straps can wrangle my monkey feet and this results in less blisters. Yay. But I digress...

While perusing the New York Times this morning, I came across a most hilarious video in the Style section. It's totally Andy Rooney meets Stacy and Clinton*. I don't know this guy's story, but his historical take on current footwear is absolutely wonderful.

Happy Friday! What's your favorite footwear trend?

*Ancient, yet lauded 60 Minutes sage and TLC's favorite sartorial duo

Blonde Moments (Part 1 of many, I'm sure)

2010-07-23T16:28:00.008-04:00

Sometimes I really think that I make my life entirely more difficult than necessary. It's the whole snowball effect, or Murphy's Law...or whatever other trite descriptive phrase one could use to convey the utter ridiculousness in which I find myself at times. In the words of Alan, the bride's brother in The Hangover, I am....sometimes....a "reTARD."

Today was one of those days for me that I thought...seriously? I do not have enough change for my "Blonde Moments" jar for this!

Last night some thoughtful person hit my car while I was out and then drove off and left me to find a beachball-size dent/scratch combination across my driver's side back door. Delightful. (I can only hope karma paid this person a visit in the form of a DUI on the way home, because they were clearly intoxicated.)

This, of course, was completely out of my control, but not filing the police report last night because I thought I only had liability insurance coverage and that since the other driver wasn't there, it didn't matter? Whoopsie. So, fortunately I can still file a collision report and have a low deductible to repair my thirteen-year-old-on-its-last-leg-piece-of-a-Japanese-go-cart, but still..would have been much easier if I had just called the police when I discovered it. I was tired. It was late. I had some tipsy people with me, and for once, I was the DD and was just ready to get home. Again...whoopsie. I knew I wasn't normally DD for a reason!

Preceding today's two-hour time engagement on the phone with my insurance adjuster, agent's answering machine--because apparently he takes Fridays off--and my dad...I fell down the stairs at work, caught myself on the railing by my elbow (doesn't logistically make sense to me either and I was there) and managed to acquire a large swollen, blue egg on said elbow. Good thing I have a wedding to attend this weekend and a new dress to wear while showing it off.

Ahh...good times.

My friends and I generally have a pretty solid track record when it comes to debaucherous out-of-town weddings, so here's to hoping we maintain that level of notoriety.

Happy weekend to you! May it be filled with a minimal amount of blonde moments, snowball effects and Murphy and his law.

Hidden Wounds

2010-07-20T16:07:00.005-04:00

On a much more serious note than I usually take when posting to this blog, last week was one of the most horrible, saddening weeks I've ever had, if not, the absolute worst. A friend and neighbor I grew up with completed suicide. Unfortunately he suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and while he had been getting help, this was not enough.

He was a Marine who served two tours in Iraq, one of which was working in the morgue, caring for the bodies of fellow soldiers and friends, having to remove their family photos from their pockets and in some cases, re-attaching appendages. I remember when he received his assignment thinking, well, at least he'll be "safe." I cannot even begin to imagine the toll that this sort of duty takes on one's mental state, but Josh braved through it with the perseverance that always served him well in school and athletics growing up--both at which he excelled.

PTSD is a serious condition and while about 1/3 of returning veterans are diagnosed with it, many may not take the time to seek help. I was aware of Hidden Wounds prior to Josh's passing, but didn't know much about the organization. I encourage you to take a moment to visit http://www.hiddenwounds.org/ to educate yourself about PTSD and how you can help by educating others or volunteering.

Just because our soldiers are returning home does not mean they're safe.

Josh Blankenship
December 25, 1984 - July 13, 2010

Greece is the Word

2010-07-08T16:30:00.022-04:00

After quite possibly the most relaxing and fun week I've ever experienced, I'm four days into the work week and just now appeasing my post-vacation depression and getting back into the swing of things.

If only my days in the States could begin here...

with a little lounging here...

and then a bit of this...

and finally, sipping some ice-cold rosé while watching this...

So sad to leave, but fortunately this weekend will be fun-filled with one of my favorite pastimes--being at the beach with my girls.

Cheers, Greece! We'll be back!

Countdown to Mykonos

2010-06-25T09:54:00.006-04:00

In just two short days, I'll be here...

I can't even believe it. I've been stockpiling flowy maxi dresses and wraps for weeks now and can't wait to wear them while sipping wine looking out over the Aegean...

...or just sitting at our abode for the week.

Until Independence Day!

South Carolina: Providing Nonstop Fodder for Comedy Since 2009

2010-06-16T10:35:00.009-04:00

Right around this time last year I was giving South Carolina a pat on the back for being such a great place to spend the sweltering summer days, as well as providing nonstop comedy of a political nature. True to form, our red state has continued to amuse me while simultaneously embarrassing me...ranking right up there with the time I rolled down two flights of stairs as a new ninth grader at my high school, in my bright orange cheerleading uniform.

For those of you who missed this, take 10 minutes to view what makes me have serious mixed feelings about my home state. Believe me, it's WELL worth it.

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/mon-june-14-2010/alvin-greene-wins-south-carolina-primary

Dreaming of Mykonos

2010-06-01T16:16:00.003-04:00

As some of you know, Juanito y yo are headed to Greece with his family at the end of this month and I've already begun my mental checklist of what to pack. Juanito thinks this is ridiculous as I'm sure he will throw several shirts and pairs of shorts into a bag the night before and call it a day. Oh...and his white linen pants he got in Ibiza a few years ago, which he claims are very "Euro." He always manages to pack more than I do, so perhaps premature packing is a good thing. We usually have an unspoken contest to see who can pack the least and/or not have to check baggage. I usually win and it's pretty funny.

So, the trip has pretty much been on my brain ever since I found out we were invited. Juanito's cousin rents a house in some exotic locale every summer and I made the cut this year since I'm officially part of the family now. :) Just in time for Greece. Yay.

Today I received the photo below in an email from my sister-in-law. It's the view from the backyard of the house. It is now my desktop.

A Love Rekindled

2010-05-07T11:03:00.009-04:00

Even though I was born in the early '80s, I've been told by numerous adults (I still don't consider myself one) that judging by my eclectic taste in music, I was born in the wrong decade. I feel like a lot of people say they have eclectic music taste; however, I believe that when one's iPod is put on shuffle and Jethro Tull is followed by Aretha Franklin is followed by Metallica is followed by Gabriela y Rodrigo..that earns the title. So, there. I digress...

My love of Wilson Phillips began innocently enough. I was seven and my older, therefore much cooler, cousin was listening to a tape in her Walkman at the beach. She was probably also wearing an oversize, hypercolor T-shirt, leggings and jellies....how funny that two of these items are seemingly back in style. Anyway, being the annoying younger cousin, I snatched her silver, foam-padded Sony headphones off her head so I could hear what she was listening to and it was love at first listen. I must admit I had not listened to the trio in quite a while until...

Fast forward twenty years to a debaucherous week out west and my friends and I making asses of ourselves while sight-seeing in Sedona.

We took this photo:

Which immediately reminded the photographer (my friend, J) of this:

Which seamlessly turned into this:

Uncanny, eh?

So, you can imagine my sheer ecstacy when a friend in San Francisco sent me an email that she read on Perez Hilton that it's been rumored Wilson Phillips is getting back together. Could it be true? Does anyone know????

Glamour's Ask a Stylist

2010-04-30T12:02:00.005-04:00

I'm a wannabe tech geek, at least when it comes to the iPhone. I never fully understood tech love until I got an iPhone about a year and a half ago and I've been hooked ever since.

The latest marriage of two of my favorite things, technology and fashion: Glamour Magazine's iPhone app, Ask a Stylist. I first read about it a couple weeks ago and downloaded it--FREE--I might add, but I haven't used it yet. You basically can ask a stylist's advice about your outfit or any article of clothing, shoes...whatever. You send a photo, or two to compare and get feedback from a professional.

From what I've read, the stylists are trained, paid and respond within minutes. The app has no revenue stream as of yet, but apparently that's being worked in the form of a stealth site that's said "to complement the app's functionality." (Tech Crunch)

I'm going out with friends tonight, so I might do a test run later. Has anyone else tried this and had success...or better yet a fashion epiphany? :)

Cheers to the weekend being right around the corner!

My 2010 Trip to the Desert..an Annual Sh*t Show

2010-04-21T15:43:00.004-04:00

So, my trip to Phoenix and Vegas was pretty much the bomb, as I assumed. We ate a lot, drank a lot and laughed even more.

For me, there’s nothing quite as refreshing as being with my friends, nor is there ever a short supply of entertainment.

Because there is just too much to tell and quite frankly, it will never be as amusing reading about it as it was at the time, I have compiled a Top Ten list of some of the most ridiculous moments from the trip. You can assume that any level of awkwardness, oddity or sheer insanity described in the instances below was multiplied by about 100 at the time of the occurrence.

1. Deplaning..immediately going out…changing to go out in a car while the valet waits outside. (The windows were tinted, but said car is a two-seater, so contortion was not only a plus, but imperative.)

2. Adult Easter egg hunt in the desert with mimosas in-hand.

2b. Experiencing a 6.9 earthquake all the way from California after aforementioned mimosas and debating whether or not the chandelier was, in fact, actually shaking. Someone finally had the bright idea to turn on CNN.

3. After days of coughing, I finally lost my voice completely and had legitimate laryngitis for two days. Sprinkle that in with me being the only Spanish-speaker and trying to inform the non-English speaking housekeeper that we would be leaving for a day trip shortly and to please change the sheets, except I couldn’t remember how to say sheets, so it came out as: Please prepare the beds. In a whisper. After I told her I didn’t have “the voice.”

Driving to Sedona for the day didn’t let us down either.

4. There was an instance of strategically placed car doors for PIP*, a Wilson Philips moment outside a chapel with somewhere around 150 people milling about and staring at us, a jeep tour with a sexually charged mountain man with a tongue ring, as well as numerous threats to throw one another into a vortex.

Note: If you’re not sure what the hell a vortex is, google Sedona, AZ and all the crazy “spiritual” stuff people believe about it.

5. Getting one’s appendage slammed in a cab tailgate and still having a bruise 13 days later.

6. Meeting Ron White at a topless pool party atop our hotel in Vegas.

7. Forcing your gay male friend to be your wing man during conversation with Ron White to avoid potential abduction.

8. Skinniest white rail-of-a-friend befriending two very large, very beautiful (well, the one with teeth was) African American women at a club and then bumping into them the next night during our pilgrimage to McDonald's when they informed us that they had already been there and it was, in fact, closed. Blast!

9. Despite fervent disappointment at aforementioned closing of McDonald’s we scouted Burger King and en route, one lucky lady in my group was offered $500 for her…um….self. And it was a serious proposition.

10. Being invited to the VIP section of a club and being kicked out of said VIP section in under five minutes flat for what we can only attribute to profiling. And by profiling, I mean we were not adhering to the apparent strict hoe code that was being enforced at that table.

And that, my friends, made for a pretty solid vacation. Censored photos are available for viewing on Facebook because I don’t know what all crazy people read this blog! ;-)

*This acronym stands for Peeing In Public and was coined by a friend in college. It has stuck with me and is most applicable in abominable situations like this.

Melatonin is Trippy

2010-03-26T10:47:00.005-04:00

I just wanted to share something that is entirely too odd and comical not to have people join me in laughing at myself.

I occasionally take a melatonin supplement to relax and get a better night's sleep. After some quick googling this morning, I discovered that for some people, this can cause rather vivid dreams. I'm not sure if vivid is the right adjective here, but I'm seriously hoping melatonin had some part in this because if not, I'm a lot weirder than I thought.

Last night I took a melatonin supplement and went to bed...and then the fun began.

Some girl friends and I were all in a beat-up conversion van that looked like something from the 1970s--A-Team meets Scooby Doo. We were camping in it to see a concert.

"What concert?" you may ask. None other than.....wait for it....Kenny Loggins. WHAT?!

I can honestly say I am not a Kenny Loggins fan, nor do I occasionally listen to his whopping total of three major 80s hits. I'm almost certain I didn't hear any of those yesterday, or any other time this week.

The best part is, before yesterday, I don't think if asked I could have described what he even looks like, however, my subconscious did a spectacular job of aging him! Bearded....beer gut...but definitely an older version of this:

What's your most random dream? I'd like to know I'm not the only person who dreams about has-been 80s pop stars.........

Looking Forward Friday

2010-03-19T11:02:00.004-04:00

I follow a lot of really great blogs on quite a few subjects: Interior design, advertising and marketing, color, fashion, style, etc., but my most favorite types of blogs are those written by friends. One such friend who has a fabulous blog you all should check out is Anne of Anne Says So.

As a new mom and bona-fide cutie pie, Anne's posts never cease to inform and amuse me, so check her out! Her latest post inspired me to talk about some things I'm thankful for and I don't think that's such a bad idea to do at a time other than Thanksgiving. So at the moment, my list is pretty long. It's easy for me to start getting cynical and ungrateful....I refer to it as my only-child princess rearing its ugly head, so to quell that little monster, here's my list of what I'm grateful for:

1. A loving hub who never fails to humor me.

2. A caring family--two now--who know how to have fun and can always make me laugh.

3. Great friends, new and old, who are really my third family because there is little I value more than great friendships.

4. My little fur-balls of love, Bernice, Oliver and Ellie. Despite what they do to my house, my clothes and occasionally my sanity, it's all worth it, in my opinion.

Now that all those important intangibles are out of the way, I'll get down to some more superficial things that I'm excited about.

5. Attending the Charleston Fashion Week Finale with a couple friends who are definitely way cooler than I am and both artists in their own right, so I'm looking forward to our cocktail-induced musings.

6. Upcoming beach trips this summer to my favorite place in South Carolina.

7. My 2010 pilgrimage to Phoenix and Vegas with some of my favorite people....ever.

8. And.........last, but certainly not least, I'm going to Mykonos, Greece! AGH! I can barely contain my excitement!

*Image from skyscrapercity

So, what are you excited about and grateful for? That's homework for today. :) Happy Friday, peeps!

Taken

2010-03-15T11:26:00.003-04:00

You know how sometimes when you read a book or watch a movie, you finish the last page or the ending credits begin to roll and you sigh, think to yourself or lean over to your fellow movie-viewer and say: that was good, or that was horrible and then you’re done thinking about it? I do that a lot--watch it/read it, get over it.

And then, sometimes there are books or movies that you finish and they stay with you for days. For those of you who have not seen Taken; you need to see it. Liam Neeson is an ex-C.I.A. agent who is on a mission to find his daughter who is kidnapped during a trip to Paris with a friend.
The movie does a great job of showing the horrors of sexual slave trades that go on around the world and while it is a bit “Hollywood,” that does not diminish how disturbing it was for me.

Maybe because a little less than a year ago I went with two friends to Paris and everything in the movie was a little too real for me. I’d walked the streets they were on and we also rented a posh flat right downtown. It was also disturbing for me as a girl who grew up being told by her father to “always be aware of your surroundings” and “responsible behavior, not irresponsible behavior.” As annoying as this mantra was to hear every time I went anywhere, I couldn’t help but hear it resounding in my head while watching this movie. My husband wasn’t nearly as freaked out by it as I was and kept staring at me because I was crying during the first 20 minutes, hugging my knees and covering my eyes, when necessary. Maybe it’s a girl thing? Boys really aren’t sheltered the same way girls are growing up, as they’re taught to fend for themselves and be tough..we’re basically taught to be smart, don’t put yourself in bad situations and if you find yourself in harm’s way, get the hell out the best way you know how.

Anyway, as embarrassing as it is, I am in my late twenties and could not sleep very well last night because I kept seeing screenshots accompanied by the ominous voice of “Marco.” I woke up around 3 a.m. and then could not go back to sleep. Maybe it had something to do with the time change, or maybe I’m just a wuss….either way, check out Taken. It’s currently on Showtime on Demand and well worth 90 minutes of your time. If you’re a girl and you’ve ever traveled abroad by yourself or with a friend, don’t say I didn’t warn you. You may be a little tired the next day. :-)

Fall Back, Fashion Forward

2010-02-25T11:43:00.017-05:00

Let me just apologize right now because I looked back and realized I’ve been posting about fashion a lot lately. I promise that’s not all I think about, but it is a favorite hobby. Er…whatever..I’ll just go ahead and say that bargain shopping is a sport! There!

So today when a good friend told me she wanted to update her Spring wardrobe and asked me what key pieces I would suggest, I was simultaneously flattered and excited. The former because I don’t consider myself any kind of fashionista, I just wear what I like. I definitely get some comments from time to time, but it doesn’t bother me. (I may or may not be a future red-hat wearer. I feel like this is how it starts…)

Anyhow, here are a few items that are my favorites for a little splash of Spring to the closet. Let’s start from the ground up, shall we?

Wedges - Although this is not really a new trend, wedges are back again and I think they’re great. Some of my favorites:

*Piperlime.com

Soft pants - I had my doubts with their humble beginnings as harem pants, but they’ve grown on me. I just wouldn’t recommend standing with your legs apart for long periods of time, as the drop-crotch look isn’t a good one. I would wear them with ankle boots or strappy, chunky shooties.

*Shopbop.com

Slim cropped pants - NOT capris pants, please. I’m so tired of capris pants, I could scream. I think the key difference here is that capris aren’t usually slim, therefore, aren’t that flattering. I’m talking about either stovepipe or straight leg pants that hit right around the ankle, no higher.

*J.Crew

*Forever 21

Bright patterns - I’m not a huge floral fan, at least for myself. While it’s definitely pretty, for me, it’s a bit predictable for Spring. So, my alternative is funky, bright..and sometimes psychadellic patterns. I’m a bit of a hippy at heart.

*ShopBop.com

*Nordstrom - on sale, I might add!

I can’t get enough of the biker chic look…call me a poser, but I love it. Show me studs, leather, fringe…I’m in. I’m notorious for all black ensembles, so while I think a black leather or faux leather jacket is a staple and probably will always be, I really want an ivory or lighter neutral one right now. Here are some at a couple price points I’ve been eyeing. I will most likely continue to only eye the Juicy one at the bottom.

*Bluefly

*ShopBop.com

I’m always a sucker for a cool jacket because you can throw it on over a tank and jeans or a flowy dress and immediately looked pulled together. (In addition to black ensembles, I’m also notorious for throwing things on because I’m constantly running late.) Military-inspired blazers and jackets are HUGE for Spring and I’m excited about it.

*Express - a combo of the white and military!

*Nordstrom

*ShopBop.com

So, there you have it. Again, I am by no means an expert, but these are some items I’m excited about working into my Spring wardrobe. What are you excited about for Spring?

Surviving Monday

2010-02-22T15:14:00.004-05:00

I don't know if it's because it's raining today, or because it's Monday or if I'm depressed from having to end a perfectly wonderful weekend full of family wedding festivities or all of the above, but I have a severe case of the Mondays. Good thing it's close to over.

During my standard mid-afternoon pick-me-up, which usually consists of a Diet Coke, I've been thinking about how pumped I am about an upcoming trip to Phoenix and Vegas with some girl friends in April. I've been to Phoenix a couple times before to visit my fab friends who live there, but I've never been to Vegas. I'm not a big gambler, but I am a big shopper/eater/drinker/have fun-er, so I'm looking forward to it immensely! So, if anyone has suggestions of "must-sees" while I'm there, I'm all ears! I'm going with a gaggle of non first-timers, so I'm not terribly worried about our agenda, but I'm notorious for doing absolutely no research before I go on trips, so I'm trying to turn over a new leaf. So, if you have any suggestions for shopping, dining, lounging, drinking, show-seeing and just all around good-time having, please, do tell!

"A Renegade Whose Talent Taunted Convention"

2010-02-11T16:45:00.007-05:00

Today marked the first day of New York Fashion Week. I've been pretty excited about this for the past several weeks and have been stalking all my favorite style news sites to ensure I knew everything I needed to know. It's a challenge to stay on trend in South Carolina, y'all! Kidding....anyway...

Sadly, all of the news from today is about Alexander McQueen's untimely passing. Of everything I read today, I think New York Times summed it up best by describing him as "a renegade whose talent taunted convention." Such a beautiful description for such a talented man and force within the industry. So, as an homage to the truly innovative genius that he was, I've posted some of my favorite McQueen images.

His "hoof shoes" were a personal favorite of mine just because they're so ridiculous. Although he took a lot of heat for those and what they were doing to the models and their feet, for that matter, that's guts, friends. Guts. He will be missed, for sure and now I'm really wishing I had picked up some of the pieces from his Target line...most of his other stuff is pretty out of my price range right now. Do any of you have McQueen pieces..from Target or beyond? If so, you probably have a collector's item of sorts on your hands.

Fashion = Art = Design = Amazing!

2010-01-13T16:32:00.007-05:00

These photos from the Hussein Chalayan Spring/Summer 2010 collection make me really happy. Hopefully they will be made for the masses...not that I could afford them, if they were, but I can hope. I wonder what they're made out of, if it's hardware like a buckle..or if somehow the fabric was sculpted in this way. Either way, I'd like to get my hands on these...no pun intended (well maybe a little). :)

I've always thought the lines between fashion, art and design are blurry, but this really epitomizes that theory. How wonderful!

The Honeymooners

2009-12-29T16:33:00.016-05:00

So, I'm married, back from St. Lucia and have nothing to show for it tan-wise. Nothing. Stupid Irish and German genes. I do, however, have these amazing photos. There were many more...I took roughly 200. Big-time tourist that I was, but here are some beautiful highlights.

We ended up spending our first night in Miami due to a canceled flight out of Charlotte and missing our connector. Miami's not a bad town. The hub and I decided our next trip will be there. View from our pimp-daddy room they hooked us up with. May have felt sorry for us...and it was a Monday. Or the Cuban guy at the desk could have just liked me. He seemed to....I do speak some mean Spanish..even more ferocious when I've been drinking. And I usually am.

Finally landed in St. Lucia and after a treacherous 45-minute cab ride.....got to our resort, which was SUPER remote. Like...so remote when we walked up, we were both a bit worried we'd walked into an episode of LOST or something. View from our room--this was our favorite spot at sunset each day. You can probably see why.

Juanito's awesomely heinous shirt his boss gave him. I gave him a hard time, rest assured, but really..where else would he have worn it? Note the "Sails Call" slogan. That Tommy Bahama is such a jokester.

Another breath-taker from our room.

Pretty freaking delicious local lager. Piton. I drank my fair share.

Walked up to the "Wedding Deck" at our resort. I made Juanito do this...yep..I'm a dork. I may or may not have made him hold hands with me prior to this shot....

Delicious cocktail. Even more delicious view from the resort bar. Please know that Isha, the bartender told me "You're a star." when she handed me this little number. I wonder how many girls she's used that line on. It was called an M&M Touch on the menu. I don't know what that means, but I gladly took it.

Juanito y yo at dinner. Obligatory table shot by our server, Neilbert, who was a local. I asked him if that was his real name. He laughed. Everytime we asked him anything he said, "Fo sho." I see native St. Lucians aren't much different than urban dudes I went to high school with.

Scary poisonous visitor who broke into our room while we were at the beach one day. There's a video that accompanies this for those who are interested.

Me trying to be a photojournalist.

The beach. I didn't get the topless women on either side of us much to Juanito's dismay.

And this pretty much sums up what I was doing/how I was feeling the entire trip.

Cheers, St. Lucia! We'll be back!

It's the FINAL COUNTDOWN!!!

2009-12-01T10:48:00.002-05:00

Okay...so yes, that was my super lame music taste coming out in the title. Europe, not just a continent, but also a band!

It is the final countdown to my impending nuptials, though and I'm not freaking out--quite the opposite, actually. I'm just ready for it to be here and all the hoopla to go away. I keep thinking of things I need to do...at work and outside of work, and that is becoming stressful, but true to fashion I procrastinate and somehow pull it all out of you-know-where.

I'm now trying to do all that I can to look my best next Saturday and during that quest I came across a pretty funny post on Lucky Magazine's site. With that, does anyone have any bridal beauty tips they want to share? I can use all the help I can get!

I Come Bearing Gifts....chicken fingers, that is

2009-09-23T16:54:00.004-04:00

I swear, the first football game of Carolina's season always puts this whole town in a good mood...before the game, at least. You can definitely feel the excitement, so maybe this was why what happened to me later that day was no big deal, albeit pretty embarrassing.

I'm on my way to two newly married friends' house, to which I've never been. I pull onto their street. I see what looks like my friend L's car outside a very cute house, near which are many other cars. "L's car" even has the same University of South Carolina sticker in the exact same spot. Has to be hers.

I park, get out juggling my Zaxby's tray and see another young-ish guy walking towards the driveway. I say hi, introduce myself to him, shake his hand..."I don't think we've met before." I say...nope, we haven't. We walk in together.

Sidenote: My girl friend who owns the house is possibly one of the cutest humans ever, super nice, great taste in fashion and home decor, very put-together all around. Upon opening the front door, I step on a Gamecocks doormat. Ok. No big deal...her husband probably had something to do with this..definitely not her choice. Then, I notice there is no furniture..oh well, they just got married..probably ordered new stuff because she is the editor of a home decor piece in our local alternative weekly, so maybe she's totally re-doing everything.

I hear a bunch of people in the back, my new friend, Andrew and I walk back there. I announce very loudly, before making it through the threshold, that I HAVE BROUGHT ZAXBY'S CHICKEN FINGERS! Everyone says yay. I walk into the room, say hi, start scanning and do not recognize a soul. I'm confused.

Me: Who's house is this?
Dude: Dan's.
Me: Oh god..I'm in the wrong house. Do y'all know where KA and D live?
Other dude: nope
Me (pretty freaking embarrassed and backing out of the room): Okay, sorry about that. I'm not in the right place.
Dude #3: You can stay! Or at least leave the chicken fingers!

I laugh and exit and do the walk of shame three doors down to KA and D's. I am awesome. Go Cocks.

T-Shirt and Bumper Sticker Ideas?

2009-08-18T11:52:00.005-04:00

I received this in an email forward today and it's possibly top five funniest forwards I've ever read. It will take you a minute, but trust me...it's well worth it.

Random Thoughts

I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can
think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell
my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves
me.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.

I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to
have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
sticks when they've invented the lighter?

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're
going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to
be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the
direction from which you came, you have to first do something like
check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to
yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're
crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

That's enough, Nickelback.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This
recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never
be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't
work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically
fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all
know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards
or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first
saw it.

I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually
becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting
90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's
laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little
bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the
only one who really, really gets it.

The other night I hit a new low at an open bar. I had already hopped
on highway blackout when, inevitably I had to find a bathroom.
Eventually I decided it was probably on the other side of the bar so I
tried to walk over there, but ran into a guy coming the other way. We
played that, Both go left, Both go right game to no avail, so I
finally put out my hand to guide myself past and that’s is when I
realized, yup, that’s a mirror I just tried to walk through. And the
guy on the other side is me. Even cats can re cognize their own image.

How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear
your computer history if you die.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the
spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

Was learning cursive really necessary?

Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron
test is absolutely petrifying.

My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads.
Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired
about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us."
Classy, bro.

Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all
I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod
and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

I love the sense of camaraderie when a n entire line of cars teams up
to prevent a d*ck from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in'
examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete
idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and
said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm....Goonies"

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died..

I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the
shower first and THEN turn on the water.

Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever.

I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to
be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an
overweight woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories

Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their
profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got
the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if
I do!

Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would
probably just be completely invisible.

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go
around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly
nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be
a problem....

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you've made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything
productive for the rest of the day.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't
want to have to restart my collection.

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me
if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I
swear I did not make any changes to.

"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching
TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge
me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching
this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the
room. Will we still be friends after this?'

While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China
and USA . No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that
when Chinese athletes don’t win, they are executed.

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and
goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone
and run away?

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she
hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light
internet stalking.

I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle,
then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising
speed for pedophiles...

As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,
but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not
know what time it is..

It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.

I think that if, years down the road when I’m trying to have a kid, I
find out that I’m sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from
the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.

Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car
keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the
Donkey - but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze
button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time
every time...

A little boy asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen
if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the
link takes me to a video instead of text.

I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they
drive behind obeys the speed limit.

I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

The Value of Research

2009-08-13T16:35:00.003-04:00

As someone who works in the marketing and advertising industry, I feel like I fully understand the value of research. Oftentimes clients don't want to fork over the (mucho) dinero for such frivolities, but every good marketer--hell, every quasi-decent marketer knows research is a must. Before a campaign. After a campaign. Sometimes in the middle of the whole thing. Sometimes the funds just aren't there and you can do some secondary research, some piggy-backing or just some plain ol' Tim Gunn-style "make it work" action getting information wherever you can. Hey, it's better than nothing.

Companies with lots of resources: man-power, money, time and room for error, sometimes use focus groups or consumer testing and with that, let me say that Victoria's Secret is (must be) one of those companies that knows research is vital and they've got the resources to do it.

Behold. I receive a call on my cell phone today from an unrecognized phone number. Normally, I decline these bad boys and send straight to voicemail, but with so many wedding vendors and clients who have my number now, this is usually a mistake, as it prolongs turnaround time. So with that logic, I answered. Lucky for me, it was a representative from Victoria's Secret who asked me to take a quick survey. Again, normally I say no thanks and hang up before they can object or hit me with more of their scripted spiel, but I was on my way back to work from lunch and frankly, I was in a good mood and felt like entertaining this poor soul on the other end of the line who was probably stuck in some cubicle somewhere across the country without so much as one hour per day of human interaction, not to mention people slamming the phone in their ear. I took pity.

So we go through some standard getting-to-know-you questions: age, where I shop, etc., some likert scale rating exercises and then she asks me, so they can better understand their customers, of course, wait for it...................my bra size. So whatever...I don't know this person, I'm wondering where this is going now, so I tell her. She then tells me that they would like to send me a new bra they have developed, for free in the mail in exchange for my agreeing to wear it for two weeks and then answering some questions. AND, as a gift to me, the valued customer, I get to....(gasp) keep the bra after I "test" it! Hot damn! Can you imagine if I--and hundreds of other girls, no doubt--had to ship our bras back after two weeks of wear? Yeah. Ew.

So, Victoria's Secret has their technique down so far, in my opinion. I answer a few questions by phone and get to test out and keep some crazy new bra they're possibly going to launch. I'm kinda excited about it and will let you all know how it goes! Question though....do you guys think I have to wear it for two weeks straight, though? Because that just seems like an unreasonably long time for me to wear something without washing it....just curious.

Damn it Feels Good to be a Gangsta

2009-08-03T14:41:00.017-04:00

Lately, I've possibly been the busiest I've ever been in my entire life. Busier than when I was in high school and decided it was a good idea to attempt four unique extracurricular activities. Busier than when I was in college and figured it would totally be fine to work 30 hours a week on top of my 15 hour class load. And quite possibly even busier than the time in grad school that I crammed four of my core classes into one semester--I did it undergrad, didn't I? Yeah...bad idea. However, I'm definitely my most productive when I feel like I can't breathe, so while I am getting a lot done right now, I still feel like my life is crazy, that I have no time for my friends, family nor my impending nuptials and the associated necessary planning.

Since I've gotten some comments about how I never update this, I decided I would take a little time out to chat about what I've been up to that's keeping me barely above water. You're on the edge of your seat....I can feel it.

Some time around the end of June, I glanced at my calendar and realized I did not have an available weekend until the middle of September. For a second I felt "very busy and important" (who caught the Bridget Jones reference?) and that I must be doing something right if I have plans for the next 2.5 months, but then I was like...wait...holy moly, I have a lot to do!

So, here's a quick snapshot series of the whirlwind that has become my life. This is the fun stuff that is sprinkled on top of my close to 50-hour work weeks that have become the norm, actually the low end of the norm. Last week featured a 17-hour work day...sweet jesus. It was fun, but that did not make it any shorter.

A friend's 30th birthday party - theme: Midsummer Night's Dream. Glitter? Check. Fairy wings? Check. Party pants? Double check!

Girls' weekend in Charleston. Livened up by an afternoon harbor cruise on a yacht and then all 20 of us getting kicked out of Red's because one of the men left on the boat had words with the employee manning the dock. Long story....pretty entertaining.

Went to the beach with the family, where I intensified my love for Moscow Mules* and wasting away on the beach until the sun goes down. I'm always up for some practice at the latter.

Mid-week trip to Phoenix to visit my fave party pal and interior designer (check out his blog at http://chrisjovanelly.blogspot.com/ for wonderful design tips with a side of sarcasm.) We also had box seats at the Earth Wind & Fire and Chicago concert!!! Freaking awesome. After that trip, my dancin' shoes were worn out, as were my party pants!

We were pretty VIP in the box directly across from the stage.......not braggin'..just sayin' ;-)

Please note my friend's husband's eye between us...it was that kind of night. Since he's a very important software professional (I don't fully understand what he does, but he's wild about some clock that's in computer code, so let's just say he's very smart) and my friend is a doctor at Mayo Clinic, I will spare them the embarrassment of some of the more colorful photos I took that night!

Quick trip to Charlotte to see (brace yourself for the utter dorkiness of this) American Idols LIVE. Moving on......

The next weekend my wonderful friends threw me my first shower--so much fun! Thanks to all my gorgeous friends who could make it, and a shout out to those who couldn't!

And a few weekends ago, I went back to New York with Juanito's female family members for a weekend of shopping and broadway-show-seeing! Highly recommend Jersey Boys for any of you considering Broadway shows...it was all I could do to keep myself planted in my seat and not spontaneously burst into song and dance. That is not an exaggeration.

There was a wedding for friends of ours..absolutely gorgeous, but alas I took no photos. And then Juanito's cousin from London invited all the gals in the fam for a beach weekend at her house in Isle of Palms. We aptly dubbed it OOC** in IOP, as it consisted of several late-night and mid-day dance parties by the pool, on the beach with the Bose speakers...wonder how many neighbors we irritated.....and a day jaunt to a remote island where we went kiyaking, were cooked Beaufort Stew and did some obligatory drinking while in the ocean...good times were had by all. Below is the only photo I took that is not incriminating in some way...this is the view from the porch...pretty sweet.

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta...... (not sure why that felt right, there, but it did.) Cheerio!

*Ginger beer, vodka and lime. Try it. It's the bomb and you can thank me later.

** "Out of Control" for those of you who aren't down with all the trendy three-letter acronyms.

Summertime is the BEST time

2009-07-01T10:48:00.009-04:00

Lately, South Carolina has not exactly been receiving the best national media coverage. Between our governor's staunch stubbornness in regard to the stimulus plan and his extramarital indiscretions, South Carolina isn't really doing much for its image at the moment. So, I'd like to provide all six of you who read this with my short list as to why South Carolina is the shizzle. Sure, I like to travel and get away from our great Palmetto State as much as the next guy/gal, but summertime in S.C. is the best time is S.C.....here's why:

1. You're only 3-4 hours away from the beach or the mountains at any given time. This means, that you are only 3-4 hours away from drop-top, rim-spinning, tinted, low-rider goodness on "The Strip", not to mention some of the most shocking, awing and bewildering apparel and people watching you've ever laid eyes on. (I have always wanted one of those bathing suit cover-ups with the painted-on, bikini-clad, tan bodies....can someone swing by Wings and pick me up one of these, please?)

2. Beer and boiled peanuts as a meal is fully acceptable.

3. What other state produces tea-infused vodka? Well, maybe some do, but Firefly is pretty awesome. I suggest it with half lemonade, half water and your party pants because this cocktail is pretty sneaky...especially if consumed in 100+ degree heat.

4. If you don't have a trip to the beach planned, you can head to one of the lakes and make a day of it out on the boat, skiing, tubing, (booze) cruisin'...whatever. Just be sure you have enough life jackets for each person on board and you have a D.D., because DNR will getcha!

5. And last but not least on my short list for reasons South Carolina is awesome is because you can't pay for comedy like this....

Outside the Statehouse

Just in case you can't quite read that--I wasn't willing to get hit by a car for this--The pink truck says "If you've cheated on a woman, you don't want her to read this book"...insert some URL here, guess they're free, yet clever advertising didn't work on me. And the other " I (heart/SC) Argentina"...again, can't quite make out the URL. Anyway, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to share!

Happy New Fiscal Year, South Carolina--hope this one is better than the last!

Rainy Days and Mondays Always Get Me Down

2009-05-11T16:13:00.006-04:00

....Just hummin' a little Carpenters because the weather outside my office window is yucky. And because of that, I figured I would talk about something that never fails to put me in a good mood--fashion!

Recently I have been doing my best to stimulate the economy in an effort to stock up on dresses for the upcoming weddings and parties I have on my calendar. My quest to find unique and fashion-forward clothing and accessories in Columbia is challenging and very ongoing, but thanks to a few of my favorite local stores and a handful of my favorite online retailers, I try to keep it fresh...mostly for my own sanity. And I think it was the creative director for Barney's New York who said "It's your duty to amuse and entertain your co-workers with your clothing..." so, Simon Doonan, I try my best, but it's tough--especially on my budget. Anyway....

I never discount a lot of big box/chain stores when trying to find interesting pieces because I think it's all in the way you put them together. So when I came across this cute little guy at Target, I couldn't resist!

Pretty nice, huh? I vacillated back and forth about whether or not I could pull it off/would look ridiculous/like I was a wannabe Britney and finally came to the conclusion that I liked it and if I looked stupid, so what? My dermatologist also had a "Come to Jesus" talk with me last summer after spot #8 was removed and told me I was not allowed to "just sit out" in the sun. So, I've compromised by wearing an ungodly high SPF and hat every time I decide I want to "just sit out." So, I rocked this at the beach this past weekend not so sure I didn't look ridiculous.....and wouldn't you know I just came across an article in a fashion magazine about how straw fedoras are the cute new summer accessory! That same article also told me that the sequined headband was out for summer, but I never jumped on that* hippy train, sooo..glad to see I wasn't missing much.

There are lots of options no matter what your price point and lots of colors, as well. Reese Witherspoon is sporting a black one here and while I'm not sure how much I love that one, I do think she is super cute and stylish....so shop on!

*I did jump on the hemp jewelry, paisley maxi dress bandwagon at some point in middle school and while the hemp has since been lost or thrown away, I do love a good hippy dress to this day!

A Redneck Moment

2009-05-02T12:07:00.002-04:00

I believe there are moments in everyone's lives during which they act completely and utterly out of character and would, under no circumstances, never behave that way ordinarily--at least I like to think I'm not the only one who does this on a somewhat regular basis. I generally refer to these little embarrassing moments in time as blonde moments, brain lapses, etc. I've heard middle-aged people call them senior moments and high schoolers call them brain farts. Whatever you call them, they do exist and occur for even the most put-together and intelligent people and I had one Saturday morning around 3:30 a.m. However this was vastly different from what I usually experience--I had, without a doubt, a full-blown redneck moment...or what could have most definitely panned out as one.

I am one who values sleep--almost too much some friends say, especially Juanito. I can take a four hour nap, get up for another couple hours and then go to bed for a full and uninterrupted night's sleep. Some view this as a waste of time or laziness but I see it as a gift....I digress.

Let me paint the picture. It's 3:30 a.m., I am sound asleep and relishing the thought--at least I'm sure I was during my R.E.M. sleep--that I don't have to wake up super early for work in a couple hours. Then the neighbors' dogs start barking. These dogs are kept on their deck and screened porch located approximately 10 feet from my single-pane bedroom window, but it never ceases to amaze and frustrate me why the people leave them out there in the middle of the night, or in this case, the wee hours of the morning. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY BARK RELENTLESSLY!

I listen to this nonsense for about half an hour and here's where my inner redneck kicks in. I begin scheming about how I will buy the most harshly piercing dog whistle I can get my hands on the next day, and when it happens again blow that thing as hard as I can every time they bark. In my groggy, sleep-induced rage I rationalize that this is the most humane solution to the problem and will create a Pavlov's Dog scenario--a sleep-deprived one nonetheless. Stupid dogs bark. I calmly reach for the dog whistle and blow out their eardrums. Simple. Humane. Solution. I can go back to sleep.

Five minutes later I return from half asleep to fully awake as they have begun barking again and I am increasingly becoming irate. How can these people not hear their dogs?? Even though the deck is right outside the bedroom window so it's much louder for my listening pleasure, the owners aren't deaf are they?? Their bedroom is probably conveniently located at the other end of their house, but how can they not hear this? It's progressed from intermittent barking, to howling, to a louder, deeper bark with more bass from one and an annoying yippy treble-filled bark from the other. I'm losing my mind at this point. More than anything I want to heave open the window, clad in my wife-beater, plaid boxers, cigarette hanging out of my mouth and Budweiser in hand, (I told you this was my inner redneck) reach for my shotgun and fire into the air yelling some version of "You stupid, goodfernuthin' dawgs...git quiet! SHET UP!" with a curse word or five thrown in the mix for good measure, of course. Unfortunately I do not have a shotgun, cigarette or Budweiser, could probably get my hands on a wife-beater and plaid boxers, but that little fantasy will not play out. I then remember I have earplugs. Problem solved. Will I be purchasing a dog whistle in the near future? Perhaps.

"Girl! You are EVERYWHERE!"

2009-04-17T09:42:00.014-04:00

The past couple months, much like the past year, have been very busy and very exciting--I've started a new job, traveled to Puerto Rico, New York and Paris, attended a quasi-celebrity fashion show and gotten engaged.

Aside: My jovial gaybor*, whom I love, intercepted me on the way to my car with bags to go out of town a couple weekends ago and squealed "Girl! You are EVERYWHERE--in my next life I want to come back as you!" My life is not nearly that exciting, but that exclamation certainly made me stop and smell the roses. :)

I'm still trudging along with the wedding planning (although I've become rather lazy about it lately) and am amidst yet another "wedding season." I'm sure you 20-somethings can relate when I say that wedding season is hellaciously fun, yet quite exhausting at the same time. I will say that when a free weekend pops up, and there's nary a wedding in sight, I almost feel bored and simultaneously under extreme pressure to do something productive with my time. And by productive I don't necessarily mean chores, household fixer-upper projects or crafting. I believe productivity is in the eye of the beholder...or beerholder, for that matter.

However, this upcoming year will be one of wedding and party overload as the "Elliott Wedding Trifecta" is officially underway. And I highly doubt there will be many free weekends as their family might make up the better part of the southeastern United States. Not really, but I definitely don't think I'm exaggerating much when I say they do make up a large part of Columbia, at least. I've often been places with Juanito** and people have asked him if he is, in fact, an Elliott and he always begrudgingly replies yes. This never ceases to amaze me how they can all look so much alike, yet (in some cases, thankfully) all be so different. Anyway, I digress.....

In the two following months after our December engagement, two of his cousins and our close friends got engaged, as well. There have been some tongue-in-cheek comments about a triple wedding, which was amusing at first, but now I'm beginning to think there wasn't as much jest in those statements as I initially thought. Too bad..that's definitely not happening...not even close. So, enough inane babble about my life. Here are some photos of what I've been up to...again, for all three of you who read this.

A few of the girls at our engagement party.

Girls' Mountain Weekend in Asheville, N.C.

Girls in front of Eiffel Tower--does anyone know how to rotate???

Sacre Coeur through the clock in Musee D'Orsay

Stained glass at Saint Chapelle

Eiffel Tower at night--again..I have better photos, but can't figure out how to rotate!

Us at a friend's wedding in Hilton Head

That's all the highlights for now....I'm sure this summer will provide some blog-worthy material, though!

*Term of endearment for one's homosexual neighbor. Also see gayborhood.

**This is obviously a pseudonym, well-loved by probably only me

25 Random Things

2009-01-26T14:03:00.003-05:00

While doing some work-related research on social media, I decided it was necessary to create some continuity among my chosen social networking sites....so this is from facebook. Not very meaningful or thought-provoking, but nevertheless....

25 Random Things.....or Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy...err..me

1. I work at an advertising agency in public relations and while it's something I never thought I'd do, I rather like it.

2. I am very easily amused and sometimes this means laughing at very inappropriate times.

3. My friends mean the world to me..and sometimes my loyalty to them gets me in trouble.

4. I'm very outspoken and don't usually keep my opinions to myself...again, this tends to get me in trouble.

5. Some of my favorite things are fashion, technology trends, live music, the beach and libations--not necessarily in that order.

6. I've learned that you can only put the ball in someone else's court so many times before you figure out that it's just not worth your time.

7. Edisto Beach is my favorite place in the world...I am going to Paris in March, though...so we'll see if that changes. :)

8. I'm not very detail-oriented and people said this would change once I started planning my wedding because I would be so excited...well, it didn't.

9. I have high expectations.

10. Sometimes I'm bossy.

11. Sometimes I'm obnoxious.

12. I consistently vacillate between not giving a damn what others think of me and overanalyzing how people react to everything I say or do.

13. I have no tolerance for people who don't treat animals well. There's a reason most pyschopaths are recognized at an early age.

14. I start every day with a Diet Coke.

15. I don't believe in zodiac nonsense, but it is kind of weird I fit my sign to a T.

16. I never laugh harder than when I'm with my girl friends...that combination of personalities never becomes dull. (p.s. "girl" is subjective here.)

17. I like to speak Spanish...whether or not you understand me isn't of my concern.

18. Most of the mantra I live by can be found on brightly colored cocktail napkins.

19. I never knew or understood video game love until I found Wii.

20. Sometimes my string of consciousness flows so quickly that what actually makes it out of my mouth has no relevancy to the subject being discussed.

21. I think people who don't love music are weird.

22. I believe if you feel the need to defend your religious beliefs or force them upon others, you're probably not as religious as you think you are.

23. It's amazing to me how hypocrisy is contagious.

24. I get irritated when people pontificate. They never impress me.

25. I hate when people use the word "gay" to mean anything other than happy or homosexual. It's not a synonym for stupid/lame/dumb, etc.

Holler at the Hypocrite

2009-01-09T14:44:00.008-05:00

So, I've been M.I.A. for a while and some of you may have thought I fell off the blogging bandwagon. Have no fear...I'm back with lots of fun news...for all three of you who read this and already know! But, I'm going to tell you anyway...
Take a gander at me rubbing elbows with Ferocia Coutura....

The first week in December was quite the whirlwind for me. Some friends and I got to meet Christian Siriano from Project Runway Season 4 and see his Spring 2009 collection at a fashion show in Columbia. I even achieved some short-lived Columbia D-List style celebrity as I was quoted and interviewed on video by The State. My co-worker and FIERCE friend Philip, or Felipe as I call him, was also interviewed and actually sounded like he knew what he was talking about. I won't get into details, but let's just say the word "juxtaposition" rolled naturally off his tongue like he was channeling Nina* or something. Here are a couple screen shots just in case you missed the video..which has probably expired by now.

So, that was extremely exciting, to say the least. Some of my friends gave me heat for "dogging Columbia" because my quote was something along the lines of "Nothing like this ever comes to Columbia...." Well trash-talkers, I was excited (and wined up) and it DOESN'T! So whatever.

Then, that weekend John's boss took us to New York because he and his wife thought it was completely and utterly unacceptable that we'd never been. We took a private plane there and a limo picked us up at the tarmac. I was texting two of my friends the entire way with exclamations such as "Who AM I!" and "This must be what P. Diddy's life is like" and other equally uncalled for and obnoxious musings. One friend replied with "Perfect engagement setting."and what a prophecy because two hours later we got engaged!

Those of you who know me well understand that I have never been one to daydream about the day I get engaged or married and have not been planning every detail since I was six. I rolled my eyes at girls who subscribe to endless bridal magazines and lo and behold have no boyfriend. I scoffed at girls in my dorm who would design their ideal rings on Blue Nile.com and then squeal at the exorbitant cost. I couldn't be bothered with learning weird matrimonial terminology like fondant, chiffon or exchanging of the vows and now suddenly I am slapping bridal magazines by the dozen on the counter at Books A Million, admiring my ring in the halogen lights in our office elevator and getting excited telling people about the booking of our band, reception venue and photographer. I know they don't care because I never did, but I have fun talking about it, so they have fun hearing about it. Right? :) Funny, yet I'm aware, highly hypocritical. Oh well.

So with the exception of some very sad consequences of the economy and a significant slice out of my work pal entourage let go, December was a pretty darn good month. Oh, AND I got an iPhone for Christmas! I used to get irritated by those people who were so busy and important checking email in the middle of a shopping mall...well call me a hypocrite again, because now I am one. These little gadgets are pretty frikkin' sweet.

*For all you Project Runway Virgins, this is one of the editors at Elle who is pretty fierce, herself.

So NYTimes Style section....well, not quite

2008-11-12T12:04:00.005-05:00

So, I just had to share that last week, while attending an event at the Art Museum, my friends and I posed for a photo for a local blog that dishes about shopping, dining and fun events going on around Columbia. The Shop Tart, as she calls herself, added us as "The Look of the Week" and for the first time ever it included a boy, the ever-entertaining, Bruce, who jumped in the picture because he thought it was my camera!

For the entire post and to subscribe to her daily blog go to www.theshoptart.com. It really is a great site and usually makes you among the first to know about great boutique sales, wine tastings and other area events.

My brain turns off around 3:30 p.m.--is that bad?

2008-11-11T15:16:00.005-05:00

I think my A.D.D. has reached an all new, highly-escalated level. I've tried to lay off the caffeine, of which I prefer to be in the form of Diet Coke...doesn't help. I've tried ear plugs to drown out the witty banter of co-workers with whom I share my cube walls; this just makes me sleepy because I stuff them so far in my ear canal that I can hear my heart beat and become comfortably drowsy. There's probably some sort of psychological explanation there and my psych major friends would tell me it's reminiscent of the womb or something weird like that, but either way it's ineffective.

Some people say listening to music helps them concentrate--nope. I certainly can't listen to anything with lyrics as I seem to be using all my available left-brain surface area for extensive storage of every word to Wham's greatest hits or the timeless Sir Mix-a-Lot classic, "Baby Got Back." I finally had the epiphany to listen to classical music, but the band dork in me methodically picks out the flute section in each movement and tries to figure out if I've ever played that specific piece in my years of symphonic band and orchestra. Thank goodness I have my important high school cheerleader status to counteract that nerdiness--just kidding....I was a dorky cheerleader, too.

Anyway, I've come to the end of the road with my efforts to remedy the concentration issues I have and am seriously considering getting tested for A.D.D. Now, I know that it's probably the most overly, unnecessarily diagnosed "disorder" on the planet because I have friends who claim they have it and just take it to study and/or curb their appetites. On the other hand, I have other friends with whom I've ridden in their cars while they were driving and forgot to take their medication and it was VERY apparent when it was past due as they were casually drifting all over our lane of the interstate gazing at cows, designs made from planted pansies or bums looking to hitch a ride. No thanks...my driving is bad enough as it is.

So, if anyone has any suggestions on how to concentrate at work, I'm all ears. In fact, it'll be pretty easy to get my attention, you just might not keep it for very long.

Two of My Favorites

2008-10-16T19:53:00.008-04:00

So, I'm not sure what's more embarrassing--the fact that I'm a bit saddened by Madonna's announcement that she and Guy Ritchie are separating, or that I'm overwhelmingly excited by Britney's seemingly respectable comeback she's making. On one hand, I had hoped that Madge had finally overcome her morally casual, scantily clad ways with her second marriage and numerous children, not to mention countless reinventions.....we're all a sucker for a new catchy pop song with a teeny bopper/gay male following. Don't lie, you know she's on your iPod. Yet her odd and newly acquired British accent constantly bothers me. Sad, but all you Perez reading, E News watching people saw this coming. Hopefully she'll pull through and we can anticipate some sort of post-divorce emergence of the "new" Madonna.

On a happier note, Britney's "Womanizer" video makes me want to hop right on the treadmill...well not really, but at least get up and shake my groove thang for a hot minute. Comeback or not, she didn't really do it Madonna-style and reinvent. She did, however, give us the obligatory, overly sexual scene, but I can forgive that for yet another upbeat, sweat inducing addition to my Workout playlist. Bravo, Brit. Now, I have one less excuse to not make it to the gym and someday potentially make my abs look like yours...pre-Sean Preston, of course. Whatever the reason for that debacle you pulled at the 2007 MTV VMAs made me oddly-appreciative of what I've got--a midsection that leaves a little to be desired, but is not completely atrocious, a head full of long, never-been-shaved, blonde hair, (of a somewhat natural hue) and the ability to chew gum and talk simultaneously without sounding like a complete idiot. Anyway, I think I, along with millions of teenage girls and gay men alike, am glad you're back, but sad your mentor seems to be hitting a rough patch.

Nance Nance (R)evolution

2008-10-13T11:45:00.000-04:00

This is an effort to quell any ongoing anxiety and excitement for those of you who peer-pressured me into starting this blog. I still don't believe I have anything meaningful to say just yet, but I didn't want to let down my devoted following. I am also still uncertain about your choice for the title of my blog. While my last name has, over the years, played an active and important role in the many nicknames my friends have for me, I assumed that upon college (and graduate school) graduation, that these punny plays on Nance would cease and desist. How I was wrong!

So, to provide you with some new ammunition and endlessly cheesy alternatives, I present you with my mutually exclusive, but not exhaustive, list of monikers I have acquired over the years:

Nancy Pants
Nance in the Pants
Nance Too Much Booty in the Pants--reminiscent of the 69 Boyz classic
You Don't Know Nance--reminiscent of Trick Daddy and Trina's Nann N..... (I went to public school, in case you're wondering)
Nance Mance
Nancy Drew

And some more that are variations of the above...

I hope you have enjoyed this first installment of "So You Think You Can Nance" and maybe one day I will be the seasoned blogger you devoted followers hope me to me. With that, I need to get back to work!